April 2007
So either later today or early tomorrow, look for the BIG announcement of the winners from the pilgrimgirl survey contest. I’m so excited to choose the winners! :)
And in the meantime, this brief post to give you something to think about today….
–Someone in Egypt typed the following search term this weekend and hit my blog: “in photos how to gag a woman.” Don’t even want to know why anyone would search on such an awful topic. IMO, it’s one thing to search for porn (yuck), it’s a whole separate issue when people are searching for ways to improve their torture skills. I’m feeling a bit sick to my stomach right now.
–some other interesting searches that recently brought people to pilgrimgirl:
Jana in bed
great mormon handmade christmas gifts
this is hell
hairy armpit women photos
former temple mormon book autobiography
walk by faith tattoo
words for feminists
stories women onelegged crutches sex
temple dresses
Picture: a pink blossom surrounded by small pink buds w/greenery in the background.
This weekend I took the skin off of my leg. It’s been summery warm here and I prefer the skinless look when I’m wearing shorts and short-er skirts. It’s been interesting to see the reactions of those around me who aren’t used to seeing my hardware (that metal bits that lurk underneath the cosmesis). But there’s also something completely satisfying about being ‘up front’ with my bionic-ness. As if to show that I’m secure with who I am and my body’s difference.
One of the benefits of skinlessness is that I can go barefoot without shredding the stockings that cover my foam legcovering. So this weekend I planted and worked on my front and back porch barefoot. What a lovely feeling, even when there was a bit of mud squishing underfoot. And tonite I got back late from yoga and I wanted to run a quick load of laundry (because tomorrow is the first day of classes and I do want to be wearing some clean pants when I’m facing 150 undergrads in the morning). So I set out for the laundry room (in the building next door) barefoot. Feeling the cool, but not cold, pavement of the sidewalk and relishing the light of the full moon that made it easy to see my way. I walked even slower on the way home, ignoring the people who I passed who probably thought this legless shoeless woman wandering around in the dark and muttering at the moon was just plain crazy. Because going barefoot just does that to me, especially after a nearly-perfect yoga session and as I contemplate the excitement of a new school term. Yes, barefootedness is just lovely that way.
Picture: a closeup of a round wedding cake decorated with frosting branches and sugary pink blossoms.
This was the cake at a Quaker Wedding that we attended on Saturday. Friends marry somewhat differently than other denominations. There is no preacher or other authority figure to lead the service. Rather, the wedding party and guests gather in silence, then the couple rise and speak their vows to each other. There is a suggested form for these vows that fairly similar to that of other denominations. However, from what I understand, the couple is welcome to modify these words to suit their desires.
After the vows, the silence continues but it is punctuated by those in the congregation who feel moved by the Spirit to speak. Yesterday some Friends gave marriage advice, some expressed their love for the bride & groom, and one Friend sang the refrain from “You Light Up My Life.” When the Meeting ended, the couple signed their marriage certificate to seal their vows. Then everyone in attendance signed the certificate as the witnesses to the marriage (it’s a fairly large piece of paper–more like a poster–to accommodate everyone’s signature).
For those who are interested…attire at this event ranged from very casual to somewhat formal. Some women wore sundresses and some men wore slacks with dress shirts, though the bulk of the group was dressed more casually. The bride wore a simple ivory-colored lacy sleeveless dress and a long strand of pearls. The groom wore a suit.
Photo by CatGirl
Are you all following Jane Stillwater’s blog? Ragin’ granny who eats peanut butter sandwiches for a year so she can afford a plane ticket to Baghdad. And she arrived a few days ago and she’s embedded with some troops and now is eating like a queen. She’s also making friends with many of the soldiers, listening to their stories. From yesterday’s post:
These men are my boys. Hurt them and you have to go through me. Hear that, George Bush? These men aren’t just action figure toys for you to play with. These are real, living human beings. Sincere. Serious about doing their jobs — and doing them well. They deserve better than the blunders of GWB. They deserve respect. They’ve got mine.
It reminds me of the conversation I had with a friend at Meeting today. I think this might be the Friend who used to be the head of the CDC. If not, at least he’s someone who has some connections. He asked me about my prosthetic leg, he told me about overseeing Walter Reed Medical Center in the post WWII years and how crappily veterans are being treated in this current war. We commiserated at the pointlessness of it all. The bodies being maimed in a war we shouldn’t be fighting, at the instigation of a president who shouldn’t have been elected. The horror….
This is one of those days I probably should stay away from my computer. When I feel so raw and tired of being open. And I’m. just. tired. Tired, I say.
This song, especially the refrain that I’ve put in bold type, was going through my head at Meeting this morning:
Going Under, by Evanescence
Now I will tell you what I’ve done for you
50 thousand tears I’ve cried
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you
And you still won’t hear me
Don’t want your hand this time, I’ll save myself
Maybe I’ll wake up for once
Not tormented…Daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I’d reached the bottomI’m dying again…
I’m going under
Drowning in you
I’m falling forever
I’ve got to break through
I’m going underBlurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don’t know what’s real and what’s not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can’t trust myself anymoreI’m dying again
So go on and scream
Scream at me
I’m so far away
I won’t be broken again
I’ve got to breathe
I can’t keep going under
The video for this song is a bit creepy, but if you’re not familiar with the tune, you might enjoy watching it (then again, maybe not, as it is pretty dark like a Buffy episode). I like the parts where she’s singing underwater–as someone who often feels more “right” in the water than on land, it works for me. The water part starts at 1:57 for those who want to skip straight to it,
The other song going through my head today has a video that’s definitely worth watching.
Are there times in your life when you’re just not “ready to make nice” to please someone else? What do you do? Sometimes I hide in the dark house with the drapes closed or go to my garden. Sometimes I scream. Or clean house. Or just roll into a ball and cry.
Picture: a closeup of some worms in my compost bin.
This photo is for the the three crazy people that I live with. They are at the table adjacent to where I’m typing right now, playing some kind of wormy computer game.
Me, these are the only kinds of worms that capture my attention. These critters live in one of the three compost bins on my back porch. They make the rich fertilizer that makes my plants grow so pretty and strong. :)