Jana Remy
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Jana Remy

  • Writing
    • Disability
    • Making History
    • Digital Humanities
      • dayofDH
    • Canoeing
    • Creative Nonfiction & Essays
    • Feminism
    • Bibliographies
      • Pacific Worlds Bibliography
    • Social Media
      • Mentions/Links
  • Scholarship
    • Awards/Fellowships
    • Conferences & Invited Talks
    • Collaboration
    • Workshops
    • Conference Planning
    • Technical Skills
  • Teaching
    • Blogposts About Teaching
Daily Archives

April 1, 2007

friendsworld

granny goes to war

Are you all following Jane Stillwater’s blog? Ragin’ granny who eats peanut butter sandwiches for a year so she can afford a plane ticket to Baghdad. And she arrived a few days ago and she’s embedded with some troops and now is eating like a queen. She’s also making friends with many of the soldiers, listening to their stories. From yesterday’s post:

These men are my boys. Hurt them and you have to go through me. Hear that, George Bush? These men aren’t just action figure toys for you to play with. These are real, living human beings. Sincere. Serious about doing their jobs — and doing them well. They deserve better than the blunders of GWB. They deserve respect. They’ve got mine.

It reminds me of the conversation I had with a friend at Meeting today. I think this might be the Friend who used to be the head of the CDC. If not, at least he’s someone who has some connections. He asked me about my prosthetic leg, he told me about overseeing Walter Reed Medical Center in the post WWII years and how crappily veterans are being treated in this current war. We commiserated at the pointlessness of it all. The bodies being maimed in a war we shouldn’t be fighting, at the instigation of a president who shouldn’t have been elected. The horror….

April 1, 2007
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I won’t be broken again….
songs/poetry

I won’t be broken again….

This is one of those days I probably should stay away from my computer. When I feel so raw and tired of being open. And I’m. just. tired. Tired, I say.

This song, especially the refrain that I’ve put in bold type, was going through my head at Meeting this morning:

Going Under, by Evanescence
Now I will tell you what I’ve done for you
50 thousand tears I’ve cried
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you
And you still won’t hear me
Don’t want your hand this time, I’ll save myself
Maybe I’ll wake up for once
Not tormented…Daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I’d reached the bottom

I’m dying again…

I’m going under
Drowning in you
I’m falling forever
I’ve got to break through
I’m going under

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don’t know what’s real and what’s not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can’t trust myself anymore

I’m dying again

So go on and scream
Scream at me
I’m so far away
I won’t be broken again
I’ve got to breathe
I can’t keep going under

The video for this song is a bit creepy, but if you’re not familiar with the tune, you might enjoy watching it (then again, maybe not, as it is pretty dark like a Buffy episode). I like the parts where she’s singing underwater–as someone who often feels more “right” in the water than on land, it works for me. The water part starts at 1:57 for those who want to skip straight to it,

The other song going through my head today has a video that’s definitely worth watching.

Are there times in your life when you’re just not “ready to make nice” to please someone else? What do you do? Sometimes I hide in the dark house with the drapes closed or go to my garden. Sometimes I scream. Or clean house. Or just roll into a ball and cry.

April 1, 2007
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wormz
gardenphoto

wormz


wormz, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Picture: a closeup of some worms in my compost bin.

This photo is for the the three crazy people that I live with. They are at the table adjacent to where I’m typing right now, playing some kind of wormy computer game.

Me, these are the only kinds of worms that capture my attention. These critters live in one of the three compost bins on my back porch. They make the rich fertilizer that makes my plants grow so pretty and strong. :)

April 1, 2007
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About Me

About Me

Hi there friend, and welcome to my blog. I started writing on the internet two decades ago. Since then I've started and finished a PhD program, left the Mormon church and became a Quaker, got divorced, remarried, found full-time work in academia, took up rock climbing and outrigger canoeing, and traveled across the globe (China! Belgium! Italy! Chicago! Montana! Portland! Gettysburg! and oh-so-many points in-between). This blog is eclectic and random--it has poetry and cooking and books. And cats. And flowers. And the ocean (my ocean). But in that sense it's a good reflection of me and my wide-ranging, far-reaching, magpie curiosity.

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