Author: Jana

  • gem

    A thought gem from this article:
    Greg Dening, “Performing on the Beaches of the Mind: An Essay,” History and Theory 41 (Feb. 2002): 1–24.

    “I read fast most of the time. That is because reading books…is my conversation with the world. My eyes are ahead of my mind when I read fast. I gobble sentences, paragraphs, pages whole. There is a white noise in the back of my mind as I read. It is the babble of worldwide conversations that affect my thinking. I’m in conversation with novelists, philosophers, anthropologists, historians, critics in this sort of reading. It is full of erotic, ecstatic moments when I think that what they are saying is what I myself am just about to say. But I am going to say it better!”

    I like his certitude. Often when I read what others write and I have one of those moments when I realize that they are saying what I wanted to say, well I just throw my hands up in the air and despair of ever having something important to contribute…

  • this one’s for you


    daisy yellows, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    I look at this petite little daisy and I see the strength of one. In a sea of people we sometimes wonder if one person can ‘make a difference’, or if we really even matter at all. But I think we do, each of us!

    I’ve been thinking a lot about SL’s post , which was a riff on an earlier post of mine. I think we both struggle with wanting to know what our place is in changing this world.

    For me, lately, I have come to understand that I should be simple-minded in my efforts. I may not come up with a world-wide program for combating disease. I may not be a Paul Farmer or a Dorothy Day. But I can take pictures of flowers, and grow vegetables, and give a kind word. I can aim to have a welcoming home, where all can join in the simple pleasures of a good meal. I often play piano concertos on my record player and eat fine chocolate and hold a purring kitty on my lap. It’s all good.

    In speaking of the women’s suffrage movement, Alice Paul wrote:

    “I always feel the movement is a sort of mosaic. Each of us puts in one little stone, and then you get a great mosaic at the end.”

    My efforts are my own little stone and I like thinking that they are a part of something bigger and grander than myself. Like one blossom in a meadow-full of flowers. :)

  • color


    peachy-orangey-red, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Went on a short trip to my favorite plant nursery today. Today I was feeling like bright pink, red, and yellow. I chose a few new flowers for the garden, including this one!

  • please don’t

    I’ve been swimming in the mornings lately. Nice brisk athletic swims for about 45 min/day. I love the swimming part but I loathe exiting and entering the gym proper. There’s something about a one-legged woman on crutches that just sticks out like a sore thumb in a space devoted to ‘fit-ness.’

    Yesterday there was this huge-mongous mass of preteen boys and their parents at the gym registering for some kind of basketball camp. No kidding, there were at least 200 people milling around in the doorways to the Rec Center. I tried to crutch through the crowd rather nonchalantly, but it wasn’t easy to have the crowd parting before me like the Red Sea of Stares. Conversations silencing as I pretended not to notice how many people were gaping.

    When I went through my second set of doors somone’s mother made this HUGE show of rushing over to the glass doors to open them for me. Making it much more awkward for me to get through, actually, then if she’d let me open them myself.

    I seriously considered backing up and going through a different door. Or taking a moment to tell her that I didn’t appreciate the way she made me feel when she did that.

    Instead I just refused to verbally or visually acknowledge her actions. I just walked through the doors looking forward to the solitude of the water–where there would be no doors.

    When I came home there was someone loading a moving van who had parked his vehicle across all of the disabled parking spaces in front of my apartment. I parked not too far away and then slowly crutched past the loading gate for the truck (which nearly completely blocked the sidewalk to my place). I made eye contact with him and didn’t smile or respond when he said ‘hi’ to me.

  • photo-worthy


    beeyooteeful, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Photo: image of a purple flower with a bee sitting in the middle of the flower

    Today’s photo is of the same flower and same bee as in a photo I posted last week. Which do you like better and why?

    After Sara’s post about the emotions in photos, I’ve thought a lot about why some pictures “work” and others don’t. I get a lot of my inspiration from 3191, because their photos are so simple yet incredibly inspiring (they nearly take my breath away every morning—for example, who knew that two apricots on a paper towel could be so lovely?).

  • clocks


    dandy-lion, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Photo: closeup of a dandelion clock

    When I was a kid it was such a treat to blow the fuzz off of a dandelion clock. I still enjoy it, but not when I find them in my garden (hmmmm…do you think it any coincidence that they only seem to pop up in the children’s area?)

  • non, je ne regrette rien

    If “La Vie en Rose” is playing in a theater near you, I highly recommend that you watch it. It’s well-crafted, well-acted, and quite moving. A biopic about French singer Edith Piaf, it’s not hagiographic. She was certainly human: selfish, addicted to drugs and alcohol, etc. But she also experienced enormous tragedy: her only child dying, several traumatic relationships, a childhood spent in her grandmother’s brothel, singing on the streets to earn money for food & booze. Though the film doesn’t touch on her resistance work during WWII, that’s also an important element of her fame and fiery spirit.

    The film is non-chronological, which works well in this case as it contrasts her youthful disappointments, her meteoric rise to fame, and then her physical decline from chronic & terminal disease in her late 40s. For me, the overarching theme of the film was for Piaf to actually ‘live’ her music rather than just belting out pretty songs. By the end, when she is onstage in what will be a final heroic rendition of her song “Non, Je ne Regrette Rien”, you can see that she really owns the song. It is pure Edith Piaf, with all of her flaws, singing of the richness of her life. Here’s a quick youtube vid of her performing the song following these translated lyrics…

    Translated from the French
    No! No regrets
    No! I will have no regrets
    All the things
    That went wrong
    For at last I have learned to be strong

    No! No regrets
    No! I will have no regrets
    For the grief doesn’t last
    It is gone
    I’ve forgotten the past

    And the memories I had
    I no longer desire
    Both the good and the bad
    I have flung in a fire
    And I feel in my heart
    That the seed has been sown
    It is something quite new
    It’s like nothing I’ve known

    No! No regrets
    No! I will have no regrets
    All the things that went wrong
    For at last I have learned to be strong

    No! No regrets
    No! I will have no regrets
    For the seed that is new
    It’s the love that is growing for you

  • naptime…


    spiky, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Photo: closeup of purplish round spiky flower

    Not sure what this flower is–I encountered it at the Huntington Library. It was just so alien-looking that I thought I’d try for a photo. Because it was bright outside it looks a bit washed out on the edges. Were I to use photoshop I’m sure I could fix that….

    We are all a bit weary around here. The Farmer’s Market was hot today and we went around noon-ish. This, after CatGirl’s slumber party at a friend’s house last nite and GameBoy’s 4 hour Wii extravaganza at Bonny’s cool beachfront place (and GB will arrive home momentarily from a pool party w/his D&D friends and will undoubtedly be exhausted). Add in to the mix the fact that John and I ate at the tastiest little French bistro before strolling to the Lido for “La Vie en Rose” last nite and you can guess that we are all ready for an afternoon nap! ( I am still digesting the best-ever melt-in-your-salmon from last night’s dinner…)

    A part of me can hardly relax, though, because of all the excitement in the garden. We’ll soon be harvesting our funky purple-podded beans, early this morning I planted all of the basil and tomatoes rescued from Suz’s garden (yay!), and we bought the most gorgeous hidcote lavender bush at the Farmer’s market (just what I have wanted for years!) that needs to be planted when the weather cools a bit this evening. I also need to tend to the blueberry bush and mini-orange tree from Suz–I rather hastily placed their pots in the garden and I need to fertilize them and make sure that they are placed in ‘just the right places.’ Oh, and a friend gave me a copy of Pat Welsh’s Southern California Gardening and now I have so many new ideas/projects….

  • not quite centered


    wildflower, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    photo: orange daisy-like flower with dark mosaic center.

    This flower was among those that I dug out from my sister’s yard in preparation for her move. I’m just loving it and its floral companions in my garden! Such a bright spot in my day :)

    Today they load the truck and she&Chris&Pete&Stinky are on their way north. We are looking forward to croquet and DDR and Riverside nachos in their new home!

  • Call me Lily

    You Are A Lily

    You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist.
    People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you.
    You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words.
    Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

  • busy as a bee


    busy, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Photo: side view of a purple flower with a bee sitting on it.

    Life is so full, isn’t it? I’m enjoying my kids’ first few days of summer and all the gifts that come with more discretionary time. Oddly enough, it seems that we are just as busy as ever, though. :)

    Oh, and my toes are nearly better–more the pale purple color of this flower and less the deep purples as when I first broke them. It’s been nice to get around with less pain, even though I did overdo things a bit on Tuesday when I strolled the grounds of the Huntington Library and snapped this photo. I paid for it yesterday by feeling rather achy and sore and being a bit grumpier than usual–but it was surely worth it. :)

    Note: Can I just say that the Huntington is the best of both worlds for me–an awesome archive chock-full of great resources for my dissertation, then these beautiful grounds/gardens to inspire and enliven my spirit. I feel so lucky!

  • stars


    close, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    To me, looking at this plant from underneath produces an effect that’s almost like looking at twinkly stars or at fireworks.

    A quotation for today:

    “If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things in nature have a message you understand, Rejoice, for your soul is alive.”
    ~Eleanora Duse