I spent time with two different close friends yesterday and both said something similar to me about my life since separating from John. Both affirmed how much good has happened for me since then. One even went as far as to say that “only good has come of your splitting.”
I don’t know if I’d wholly agree that it’s all been “good.” After all, it’s been emotionally difficult (even traumatizing) to navigate the realities of sharing the custody of our children, and of facing the future without a spouse at my side.
However…I am the kind of person that tends to rebound quickly from setbacks. That’s a lesson learned from so many difficult experiences early in my life. And I was already headed on an exciting professional trajectory, which in some ways is only made smoother now that I don’t have a partner to negotiate with over the details of my choices, or to distract me from my goals. There’s an absolute headiness that comes from knowing that I’m charting my own course now, and can depend on my own strength to get me there.
I’m reminded of an experience I had taking a friend out paddling for the first time. Usually, I take it pretty easy on those who aren’t used to the physical toll of canoeing–it’s hard work! Often we don’t even make it to the PCH bridge, which is about a mile away from our launch point. However, this friend (a vibrant divorced professional woman) was a powerhouse in the canoe, despite not having an athletic lifestyle. When I asked her about it later, she said that she’d learned many years ago to do things herself: when she remodeled her home, landscaped her yard, and so forth. That being single taught her to tap hidden reserves of strength. I could see that when she paddled and I could see it in her life. And now….I’m learning that lesson, too.