Jana Remy
  • Writing
    • Disability
    • Making History
    • Digital Humanities
      • dayofDH
    • Canoeing
    • Creative Nonfiction & Essays
    • Feminism
    • Bibliographies
      • Pacific Worlds Bibliography
    • Social Media
      • Mentions/Links
  • Scholarship
    • Awards/Fellowships
    • Conferences & Invited Talks
    • Collaboration
    • Workshops
    • Conference Planning
    • Technical Skills
  • Teaching
    • Blogposts About Teaching

Jana Remy

  • Writing
    • Disability
    • Making History
    • Digital Humanities
      • dayofDH
    • Canoeing
    • Creative Nonfiction & Essays
    • Feminism
    • Bibliographies
      • Pacific Worlds Bibliography
    • Social Media
      • Mentions/Links
  • Scholarship
    • Awards/Fellowships
    • Conferences & Invited Talks
    • Collaboration
    • Workshops
    • Conference Planning
    • Technical Skills
  • Teaching
    • Blogposts About Teaching
Daily Archives

January 15, 2008

the kind of person I am…
food

the kind of person I am…


That last quarter of a killer brownie that’s still sitting in the pan from dinner the other night. The one that just keeps getting smaller because everyone else isn’t selfish enough to eat the last brownie…

I eat it for breakfast. No guilt whatsoever. Because that’s the kind of person I am.

Killer Brownie recipe

Really, these are the best brownies. Crispy on the edges, fudgy in the middle. Rich, rich, rich with no fantsy-pantsy chunks or caramel or rice crispies. Just pure unadulterated brownie.

8 oz of unsweetened chocolate (use organic or fair trade so you can eat your brownies sans guilt)
1 cup organic butter (I use unsalted, but if you use salted butter, cut the sea salt to 1/2 tsp or less)
5 free-range eggs (meaning that the chickens are free range, not the eggs themselves…)
3 cups organic sugar (get this fair trade, too, if you can!)
1 tablespoon vanilla (I didn’t use organic, but will when I use up all the vanilla I already own. I’d recommend the special vanilla* for any Mormons trying this recipe)
1-1/2 cups organic white flour (though next time I’ll try a mixing in some whole wheat flour just to see what happens)
1 teaspoon sea salt
optional: 2-1/2 cups chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Melt chocolate and butter in a saucepan over low heat, then set aside (do remember to lick the spoon on this one–it will send you to all kinds of happy chocolaty places). In a stand mixer, beat eggs, sugar and vanilla at high speed for 10 minutes. Stir in chocolate mixture, flour and salt until just mixed. Add the nuts. Pour into greased 9×13 pan.

Bake for 35 min.

*Growing up in an LDS home that eschewed alcohol, “the special vanilla” referred to the vanilla beans soaking in a mysterious bottle of dark rum that we used for our extra-special recipes

photo by yum9me

January 15, 2008
0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
amputeeclassicsLDSQuaker

pilgrimclassic: Casting Faith

This post originally appeared on Nov 19, 2006:

On Thursday during my casting appointment there was a group of four people involved in the process—two prosthetists and two interns—each taking a different role in wrapping my residual limb in a flexible fiberglass shell, then shaping that shell into a form that will both conform to my anatomy and will also best contain the tissue, muscle and bone as I walk. This is an intimate process, as the socket of my prosthetic leg interfaces with the major bones of the pelvic girdle—holding in the ischium and pressing against the ramus.

It is an odd feeling to have two male prosthetists shaping the casting material between my legs and around my hip. Realizing that they are interacting with the most personal spaces of my body. Knowing that it is their job and this is a necessary process for getting a good fitting socket. Me, trying to remain a bit aloof and distanced from the process, yet at the same time having such high hopes that they will get a good fit—that the socket will work well and not cause pain and the suppurating sores that I’ve suffered with for the past few years.

On Thursday evening I experienced a different form of intimacy. I gathered around the kitchen table of a Friend, holding hands with three Quaker women who agreed to serve on my Clearness Committee. We sat in silence, in prayer, until I felt moved to speak, to tell them of the turmoil in my heart in the process of leaving Mormonism. I spoke hesitantly, nervously. Their role was only to ask open-ended questions. Not to judge. Not to guide. After 90 minutes of speaking and silence, they mirrored what I had spoken back to me. They told me what they had heard me say. They discussed how my body language revealed the truths of my heart. Most of all, they shared their concern for the burdens that I am carrying.

Perhaps ironically, the Clearness Committee experience was far more discomfiting and intimate than the casting for my prosthesis. For I don’t readily share the thoughts of my heart. Yes, I do this daily blogging, but I speak primarily of mundanity here. I’ve only very hesitantly shared the steps of my spiritual journey with anyone. I suspect that most just can’t understand. Within the Mormon community I feel censure and distrust. I have few friends who can empathize with the loss of faith. Who can grieve with me through this process?

Outside of Mormonism, I am flummoxed by trying to explain what leaving the church means. That it is a complete change of worldview. Is it, perhaps, like having to relearn to walk?

There is a popular LDS song called “I Walk By Faith” that I sang often during my teen years. I identified with this song as a young Mormon who was developing faith in Christ and as an amputee, because each step involved trusting my prosthesis in hopes that it would support my weight. So now on my spiritual journey away from the LDS Church I am learning what it means to walk by uncertainty, to walk by doubt, to walk into completely unknown territory as my heart leads me onwards. Ironically, this seems the biggest leap of faith thus far.

January 15, 2008
0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
pilgrimclassic: my glowing cemetery
classics

pilgrimclassic: my glowing cemetery

Originally published on June 23, 2006:
Explanatory Note: In this post I refer my and John’s old podcast, which is no longer available for download. We have plans to resume podcasting together soon, and the first order of business will be to reinstate the old episodes. I’ll let you as soon as that actually happens!

I was all set to write a quick post to tell you about my & John’s first-ever podcast where I read a short creative nonfiction piece about the Magna Cemetery [Note: this cemetery is typically called the Pleasant Green cemetery, as this was the name of the town in the late 1800s. After the copper mine came to the area the town’s name was changed to Magna, the name of the mine’s biggest smelter. I suppose the area was no longer pleasant and green after Kennecott came to town] and as I was googling the cemetery in hopes of finding a good picture to add to the post, I found this juicy tidbit:

“Hauntings at Magna Cemetery: Much like the town of Magna, the Pleasant Green Cemetery reflects a sad history related to the settlement and hardships endured by the pioneers and immigrants who moved there to work in and live near the mines. Most of the people buried there did not have long lives, and mining accidents sometimes claimed multiple lives at once.

It is a fact that the Pleasant Green cemetery glows green during certain times of the year. For a long time, people believed this was due to unsettled spirits haunting the place, though now it is understood that it’s due to the mineral luminescence from the soil. This doesn’t make the cemetery any less eerie. From the toppled headstones to the overgrown bushes and weeds, it’s hard to believe this cemetery is being used and/or that the ghosts of those buried there aren’t feeling slighted by the lack of upkeep and respect.”

The two images I found of the cemetary are evidence of its forlorn-ness. One is from a Utah ghost site and shows an aerial view:

The other photo shows the front entrance gate:

It’s funny to me that I want to be buried in a place that’s so barren and ugly. But I also feel a deep connection to this space. It’s where some of the family oddballs are buried, and I think I would fit in better there than if I were interred in the perfectly-green lawns of a more typical Utah cemetery. And, it seems weirdly fitting to know that I would be buried in a place of legend, of mystery, of great sorrow, and of ‘luminescence.’

January 15, 2008
0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest

About Me

About Me

Hi there friend, and welcome to my blog. I started writing on the internet two decades ago. Since then I've started and finished a PhD program, left the Mormon church and became a Quaker, got divorced, remarried, found full-time work in academia, took up rock climbing and outrigger canoeing, and traveled across the globe (China! Belgium! Italy! Chicago! Montana! Portland! Gettysburg! and oh-so-many points in-between). This blog is eclectic and random--it has poetry and cooking and books. And cats. And flowers. And the ocean (my ocean). But in that sense it's a good reflection of me and my wide-ranging, far-reaching, magpie curiosity.

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog.

Popular

  • 1

    A Room of My Own

    December 4, 2017
  • 2

    the post-post divorce Christmas celebration

    November 28, 2017
  • 3

    open

    December 21, 2017
  • 4

    Reader, I married him

    March 22, 2017
  • Ellycat

    January 2, 2019

Categories

Archives

Popular Posts

  • 1

    A Room of My Own

    December 4, 2017
  • 2

    the post-post divorce Christmas celebration

    November 28, 2017
  • 3

    open

    December 21, 2017

Calendar

January 2008
M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
« Dec   Feb »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Flickr

@2017 - PenciDesign. All Right Reserved. Designed and Developed by PenciDesign


Back To Top