Category: deep thoughts

  • open


    wet petals, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    A picture from my garden meditation time yesterday. My roses are still blooming (joy)! This one smelled so fruity and flowerly–I so wish you could’ve been there with me…(and I did pluck just one from the bush to add to my kitchen sink windowsill).

    A quotation that I have been pondering the past few days:

    “If in the last few years you haven’t discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.”
    ~Gelett Burgess

    I want to be open to new ideas, to continue learning, growing and changing. A life lived with fear and rigidity is not, for me, a satisfying one! I think life is too short to not be open. We should be absorbing and experiencing many new things…to tread in places where we are are unsure. To be like this rose–showing our most vulnerable inner places and sharing it with everyone, even those who may not recognize the courage that it takes to be open.

  • longtime did peptide turn…

    Folks:
    I’m thinking I may incorporate interpretive dance into my teaching repertoire. Here’s a great ’70s-era example of protein synthesis taught by this particular technique (h/t creek running north)…

  • just one more

    Yah, just as you were sitting back in your office chair and yawning a bit, thinking, “Naw, there’s no way she’ll post again today” (thus breaking her previous record of three posts in one day), she goes and posts again. What is it with that pilgrimgirl?

    People:
    For those of you who just can’t get enough of trains (and you know who you are), don’t you dare miss today’s Daily Dose of Imagery. Sit back and just feel those rails moving beneath you as you move forward into the horizon….

    And if you really want to sleep well tonite, you can add a bit of this to your mind just as you’re drifing off into a train-induced dreamworld….

  • praise him

    To the kind man who found my cellphone lying in a street in Santa Ana on Sunday evening:

    Your call was a godsend. Thank you. And thank you for being in a park in Santa Ana tonight to feed the homeless with your Ministry Group. You are an example of all the good that the Spirit of Christ brings to this world. And I’m not just saying that because you returned my phone.

    I do so wish that there were more people like you in this big wide world of ours.

    My Best,
    pilgrimgirl

  • what I’m doing today….

    -Recovering from a cold. feeling about 40% better than yesterday
    -Sleeping in a bit
    -Baking and packaging brownies for school carnival
    -shopping at Farmer’s Market & TJs. Biking home with about 40 lbs of food in my rear basket. Had to get a bit of a boost from CatGirl on the very last hill.
    -Washing a sinkfull of dishes (blech)
    -Laundry
    -Reading about Paris
    -Popping popcorn the old-fashioned way (on the stove), because it tastes so much better that way.
    -Thinking about the Amber Spyglass,which I finished reading last night
    -Pulling some weeds in the garden
    -Enoying GameBoy’s cello playing.
    -Listening to the oldies station on the radio
    -Snacking on chile mango slices (yum)

    What are you doing today?

  • In plain sight


    yellow spider, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    I came across the wee little spider in this picture as I was snapping flower pics on the Alcott farm. He was so hard to see, as his color blended in perfectly with the yellow of the petals on the sunflower. But what a delight it was to capture his image on film. Charming!

    On another note, I keep thinking about this post from Liz. What does is mean to be a cancer survivor with so much enthusiasm for life who finds no one to dance with? And what about those moments when you realize that your body, your disease make you unappealing or untouchable? And what about the Gilroy test–the true test of love:

    “The Gilroy test is the one true metric of real love. So-named because my aunt once had a large orange cat who was the most beautiful cat in the world before he got kitty leukemia and started wasting away. I was kind of an oblivious twit when I was a teenager and must have made some unthinking remark because my aunt spent some time gently explaining to me that it’s very easy to think you love someone when they’re beautiful. But that the test of real love is whether you love them with the same intensity when they’re ugly.

    “Everyone gets ugly from time to time,” she told me, stroking Gilroy.

    This photo and Liz’s post evoke such a jumble of emotions for me, especially the connection between love and beauty. Can we only love what is beautiful? Or is true love the ability to see beauty in all things? I think the latter. My heart soars when I see how gorgeous my kids and my John and my flowers are. But they are beautiful to me because I already love them, not because they are inherently beautiful. Does that make sense?

    I think our recognition of beauty is more about being aware and in tune with our surroundings than it is with seeing what’s inherently visually appealing. An example: as I rode my bike home from the library in the dark last night, everything was beautiful to me–the sliver of moon in the sky, the taste and smell of the humid air, the taut feeling in my leg muscles as I pedaled home, and the joy of nearing the end of a well-spent day. In being completely there I felt so satisfied, so full of joy. That was beauty.

  • too cool!

    People:
    I am sitting on a downtown street in San Diego after a full day. And I am blogging. Using someone’s wireless (thank you anonymous wireless hookup) and my laptop. Too Cool!

    Had a full, full day: San Diego Friends Meeting, Clair de Lune, Balboa Park (The Museum of Man–why is is just about men? I cannot figure that one out! Because WO-MAN would somehow be too titillating shown in all of her anthropological glory??), the Botanical Garden, a Bonsai Show, and much time walking hand-n-hand with my sweetheart and glorying at the curiosity and beauty of my kiddoes. All in all, a glorious day. San Diego, you rock!

    So GameBoy just brought me dinner so I will sign off now and get my fingers greasy. Fish tacos. YUM!

  • reading time

    People:
    These be good links. Sit down and click. Enjoy.

    –Liz (one of the many oh-so-unfortunate but oh-so-wise and now bankrupted cancer bloggers) gets invited to a chi-chi “The Art of Being Human” workshop. She turns down the opportunity because she’s already become human by sitting in the waiting rooms with the other folks who aren’t adequately insured:

    “These ugly, drab, grungy, noisy, cluttered, crowded, smelly, uncomfortable [hospital waiting] rooms are the “workshops” where I learned to sit in perfect stillness for eight hours or more. This is where I learned to transcend my own jumbled thoughts, desires, physical pains, and frantic emotions; to tune out the noisy world blaring its distracting Regis Philbins and Bob Barkers and Judge Judys; to let go of striving for goals, to abandon hope of fruition; to feel at one with my fellow sufferers; to wait in utter stillness, with Cosmic patience, compassion, and a quiet empty mind.”

    –The Books That Changed Our Lives: Six feminists discuss the books that rocked their worlds:

    “When I first saw my mother’s copy of Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women, I remember being a little afraid of the cover, which featured a picture of a bizarre woman-like mask reflected in a compact mirror. Being the morbidly curious 13-year-old that I was though, I picked it up. I’ve never read a book faster.
    Almost immediately, I was confronted with ideas that made sense of the thoughts I’d been having – that I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. It was such an incredible feeling to know that so many of my insecurities weren’t really about me, but were manifestations of a culture hell-bent on keeping women in their place.”

    –A musing on aging and sex from La Vie en Rose, where she writes: “I firmly believe that women who have good sex can change the world.”
    Amen to good sex and changing the world, sister!

    –Spend a peaceful moment with Maddie at Persisting Stars as she discusses tea and poetry.

    –I am just sick of never-ending car repairs and paying waaayyy-too-much at the pump. I am just so close to giving up the car altogether (and proud to report that I’ve only used it twice this week–to go to yoga and once to my son’s school). I loved this article about another OC family who gave up their car and has no regrets…

    –You know, of course, that all good bookstores have kitties. But did you know that Powells‘ cat, Fup, has his adventure saga that you can subscribe to via email? Yah.

    –Move Over ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day,’ The 24th Day of the Tenth Month is now “International Talk A Quaker Day.” Thou art forewarned.

  • aching

    —Trigger alert—-

    On our way to Quaker Meeting on Sunday morning, as we were on an onramp, we saw this–passing the man’s car on the onramp just moments after he jumped to his death. We were fairly sure it was a suicide, but tried to minimize the situation because we didn’t want to freak out the kids.

    I found it difficult to concentrate during Worship after having passed this scene. While I respect the difficulty of a suicide choice and I don’t want to trivialize or sensationalize this incident, my heart just aches knowing that someone was hurting so badly.
    Note: H/T to John for the link.

  • do you believe?


    begonia, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    “It’s frightfully difficult to know much about the fairies, and almost the the only thing known for certain is that there are fairies wherever there are children. Long ago children were forbidden the Gardens, and at that time there was not a fairy in the place ; then the children were admitted, and the fairies came trooping in that very evening, they can’t resist following the children, but you seldom see them, partly because they live in the daytime behind the railings, where you are not allowed to go, and also partly because they are so cunning. They are not a bit cunning after Lock-out, but until Lock-out, my word !”

    Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens. London, Hodder & Stoughton, 1906.
    Note: I copied this quotation from this delightful post at Le Fumoir…

    There is a magical time in my garden each night as the sun sets behind the hills and the solar lights along my main pathway start to twinkle. It’s a time of day that I generally find myself chatting with friends rather than gardening. It’s a time for contemplation and not for work. :)

    So in the gloaming a few weeks ago I was chatting with a friend and her young daughter and when the lights came on, I mentioned that it was now “fairy time” in the garden. Such times remind me of when my kids were littler and the joy they had in finding all of the nooks & crannies of the garden where the ‘fairies’ lived. Oddly, though, I don’t think my kids really believed in fairies. It was more of a game for us….a way of acknowledging the magic and creativity of the garden. At least that’s what I tell myself now.

    I didn’t foster my children’s belief in Santa or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. Yes, the kids would get some money under their pillow after they lost a tooth, but it was more of a ritual than a practice in deception. And at Christmastime I often put gifts under the tree with only a “To” on the tag and no “From.” Sometimes the kids said this meant these gifts were from Santa. I don’t think I purposefully encouraged this belief, but it was just there given the cultural milieu in which they were raised. And at Easter we often gave little treats and hid colored eggs, but the Easter Bunny part of the holiday was just an excuse for a little fun, much as in the dress-up part of Halloween.

    So now I wonder why I still speak of fairies? Why did that comment so easily pop out of my mouth at dusk? Why do I feel the need to linger and relish the transition from night to day, the “fairytime,” in my garden?

    I believe it’s because I use the image of the ‘fairy’ as a kind of cultural shorthand. The notion of little sprites darting around in the plants expresses my feelings about the mystical presence of my garden: the flowers that spring up in unintended spaces, the persistence of some plants against all odds, the continued ‘unexpected’ of each visit to my “Secret Garden” space.

    Just as I still enjoy myths and fairytales and ripping-good yarns, I still speak of fairies. I think I still believe in them, too. Not of the Disney/ Tinkerbell variety, but as embodiments of the healing, enlivening energy that surrounds my flowers & plants.

    What about you? Do you believe in fairies?

  • the best of times, the worst of times

    I came across the story of Prof Randy Pausch through the 37 Days blog. Randy has terminal cancer (pancreatic, just like my Dad’s). You can see his recent scans and read a bit more about his current condition, if you’re interested. In his own words:

    In August of 2007, we learned that the cancer had returned, having metastasized to my liver and spleen, which is a death sentence. At that time, the doctors gave me an estimate of having 3-6 months of healthy living left.

    I love how he replied to the question of whether his battle with cancer has strengthened or diminished his belief in God:

    This is obviously not how I wanted things to turn out, but my wife and I have no regrets; we did everything I could to maximize my odds. And we want to thank everyone who has so graciously helped us. Somewhere during my treatment, somebody asked me if having cancer had made me believe less, or more, in God. I replied that I didn’t know, but it sure had made me believe more in people.

    Randy recently spoke in the “Last Lecture” series. If you have a minute, I think you’ll find these excerpts from his words to be inspiring. You can also read a summary of the entire lecture here….and can I just add that I’m intending to give my kids some license on bedroom graffitti from now on….

  • history lessons

    So I am so going to start each of my classes with this video, musing about what we learn (or don’t learn) from history!