Picture: closeup photo of the inside of a poppy with a small black beetle.
Saw lots of bugs and critters at the garden today, including this little fellow who was chillin’ in the cup of a poppy flower.
Author: Jana
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budding
Today I went to the garden at noon. It was difficult to take good photos because of the harsh lighting. But I managed to get a few winners. It felt so good to be behind the camera lens again!
While I was taking photos of some lovely ‘native plants’ (aka weeds) near a fencepost, one of the grandpas who gardens nearby came over and kinda laughed a bit at me(he doesn’t speak any English, so our interactions are usually limited to smiling and pointing). You see, my garden is all tumbly and random and just slightly shabby-looking. Whereas his has nary a weed in sight. I suspect that he thinks ‘my way’ of gardening is rather unproductive. But he is always so generous with sharing his produce with me, I suspect that he might just understand that some of us need to grow flowers, too.
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5 questions
A meme from alisonwonderland:
1. What is your favorite color?
Ack, I’m just not good at favorite questions! I like every color! I have a new yoga top that’s orange and it makes me feel powerful. Right now I’m eating red strawberries and they are as tasty as they are beautiful. Today CatGirl is wearing her favorite all-green outfit and she is adorable. My kitties: B&W and shady-gray are just about the loveliest things ever. And in clothes I’m particularly enjoying wearing a rich cocoa-y brown. It’s a bit softer than wearing black and it hides the garden dirt well. :)
2. If you could travel back through time and view any moment, what would it be? And why?
In my mind I already live in the nineteenth century. It’d be nice to actually experience it for myself sometime. I think I’d like to time-travel to Nauvoo, IL in its heyday.
3. Name a favorite Evanescence song and a favorite Sarah McLachlan song, and tell why they are favorites.
Evanescence–“My Immortal”
Sarah McLachlan–“Wear Your Love Like Heaven”I like just about all of the songs by these artists, but I’ll say the two above just to narrow it down a bit. I like these songs because I never tire of listening to them and they take me to a more beautiful place when I hear them.
4. What is something you liked about growing up in Oklahoma that you miss now living in Southern California?
Fireflies. We saw some on our trip to North Carolina last summer and it was such a thrill to share them (finally) with my kids. It was dusk and we were sitting in a plaza on the UNC campus and watching them wink in and out of the hedges. So magical!
5. You just finished your Ph.D. qualifying exams! What are you going to do next?
I’m spending a bunch of time in my garden right now, also cleaning house (yuck), spending lots of time with friends, dreaming about the future, kissing my cats on their noses and rubbing their tummies, and reading for pleasure (Just started The Architect of Desire
and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
If you want to play along with this meme:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” If I don’t have your email address, leave it for me in the comments or email it to me at phddillyatyahoo dawtcom.
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
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Satan is behind illegal immigration
Yah, so for all of you who are worried about the increasing social conflicts that result from immigration, well now you know who to blame: It’s all Satan’s fault.
So glad to have that one all cleared up. Whew. No need to worry about our brothers and sisters who attempt to infiltrate our borders, as they are all just pawns of the devil’s plan.
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if this is you…
If you are propped up in bed, surrounded by soft pillows and a purring kitty at your side–TobyJoy knowing that its cuddle time because GameBoy is playing his cello (she demands lovin’ whenever he practices). And as she turns on her back for a belly rub you remember the hummingbirds who were buzzing all around your garden this afternoon–including the one that nearly landed on your shoulder and the one who bathed in the curl of a rose bush leaf as you lightly sprayed water above her head. And you are still enjoying the warm glow of a relaxing afternoon: you watched Finding Forrester on DVD (rather pat plot, but with a surprising tenderness from Sean Connery), drank a soul-warming cup of green tea infused with cherry blossoms, and composed a new silly song to sing to CatGirl (to the tune of “She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain”) as the two of you brainstormed a perfect colonial-girl costume for her upcoming school play. And if this is you, then you’ll feel a bit of regret as you realize that you’ve been lax in remembering to take your camera to the garden. So you’ll mentally commit to doing so tomorrow, as there are oh-so-many poppies, sweet peas, and roses just begging for photos.
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Make me smile…
-John saying sexy things to me with different accents. Knowing that I like his fake Japanese accent the best.-Walking the aisles of Henry’s market last night. Spending time in front of the tea selections and making the choice of a lovely tin of fair trade & organic tea. Then drinking that tea for breakfast with a toasted sprouted-wheat fruit bar (yum).
-Doing the king dancer pose yesterday in yoga class. Realizing that I’ve regained my ability to balance on each side. (My teacher’s awe–“Jana, something is just working for you now”) Reveling in how beautiful that felt–even when I needed to lean on the wall for a bit of support.
-The scent of the cantaloupe melon that I will eat when I return from teaching later today.
-Starting the first of my “must-do-when-I’m-done-with-my-exams home projects: recovering the seats of our LR chairs in some rich black corduroy fabric (I got the fabric free from a friend about 2 years ago).
-Time with friends. Eating with old friends, new friends, and friend Friends. Having a social life again! (Wanna go out to lunch? Give me a call and let’s do it!)
-Driving the kids to school this morning and (finally) feeling some of the burden of the past few weeks (and months) lifted off of my shoulders. No more creases on my brow, between my eyes. The joy of stepping out barefoot in the morning sun and actually anticipating a carefree day.
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And nothing shall offend them…
Through a link from mormonstories I came across this article in an LDS publication. The author of the article contends that many people who leave the Mormon church do so because they’ve been offended by another member or by a church leader.
I just wanted to take a moment to affirm that I did NOT cease my activity in the LDS Church because I was offended by any particular leader or by any particular incident/interaction with a church member. My change of heart is due to fundamental disagreement with LDS doctrines, practices, and culture.
Okay, just had to get that off my chest, as some have suggested (including my own leaders) that I left because an offense. Which is simply not the case. If anything, it was my fondness for the people of the church that made it difficult to stop participating. And it is my continued support of my LDS friends that leads me to sporadically attend Mormon-sponsored events.
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it’s (kiss me now) spring!
when faces called flowers float out of the ground…
when faces called flowers float out of the ground
and breathing is wishing and wishing is having-
but keeping is downward and doubting and never
-it’s april(yes,april;my darling)it’s spring!
yes the pretty birds frolic as spry as can fly
yes the little fish gambol as glad as can be
(yes the mountains are dancing together)when every leaf opens without any sound
and wishing is having and having is giving-
but keeping is doting and nothing and nonsense
-alive;we’re alive,dear:it’s(kiss me now)spring!
now the pretty birds hover so she and so he
now the little fish quiver so you and so i
now the mountains are dancing, the mountains)when more than was lost has been found has been found
and having is giving and giving is living-
but keeping is darkness and winter and cringing
-it’s spring(all our night becomes day)o,it’s spring!
all the pretty birds dive to the heart of the sky
all the little fish climb through the mind of the sea
all the mountains are dancing;are dancing)
–e.e.cummings
[hat tip to 37 days for the poem above] -
my exam day
For those of you wanting a play-by-play of my PhD Qualifying Exams today, I offer you this quick vid clip. Ok, it’s not exactly the same because I wore my navy blue suit and left my bowtie at home. Oh, and my advisor forgot to wear his leather eyepatch. But otherwise, yah, this is exactly what it was like.
FYI: I passed, and that’s all that matters. And I am tired. So, so tired right now. Ready for a weekend with no studying!! :)
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the real me…
No pretty flower picture today. Because it’s come to my attention (thanks to my Outhouse friends) that my online persona doesn’t really match up with “me.” For all of you who only know me online and might have this rosy-colored view of Jana, well this is for you:
-I like fart jokes. I make at least one potty-humor comment at dinner each evening.
-My house is a mess. When I cleaned out the fridge last week I found a ton of stuff that had expired in December of last year.
-I like to swear & cuss, especially around John. I’m downright sailor-ish at times.
-I can touch my tongue to my nose and I will perform this “skill” for just about anyone, just about anytime.
-I can be pretty mean. I have strong opinions about most topics and I use big words in an attempt to demean those that I’m arguing with.
-I frequently snort when I laugh.
-When I run into my old boyfriends I often, rather heartlessly, ignore them.
-Sometimes I use my disability as an excuse when I am perfectly capable of doing things. It’s just my way of getting out of things that I don’t want to do.
-During the middle of the day while the kids are at school and John’s at work I frequently do my schoolwork sitting in bed in my underwear. Ignoring the door or the phone. Come to think of it, I rarely answer the phone anytime of day. And I’m horrible about returning messages.
-I don’t like it when people interrupt me when I’m on email.
-I run red lights when no one else is around.
-I bike in ‘no biking’ areas of campus.
-I have a double-chin, but I don’t post photos that show it.
-I enjoy the attention that my ‘different’ body brings. I can walk down the street showing my bionic leg and know that nearly every eye is on me. There’s a headiness to getting so much attention.
-In yoga class I’m rather proud that I’m better at many of the poses than the ‘able-bodied’ participants.
-Sometimes when John is working on something that’s important to him I distract him with sex.
-I kiss my cats more than my husband.
-I manipulate people (especially men) by smiling at them and saying what I think they want to hear.
-If you go out to lunch with me, I will probably dominate the conversation.
-I am frequently uncomfortable with the way other people smell.
-My garden is a big mess of weeds right now. Taking flower pictures is my way of avoiding the ugly needs-work spaces.
-I usually drive my kids to school while I’m still wearing my pajamas.
-I buy things online because I don’t want to be hassled with having to go to a brick & mortar store.
-Sometimes I assign my kids to do the chores that I don’t want to do myself.
-I almost never have any money in my wallet because I don’t want the hassle of going to an ATM or getting cash back at the store.
-I throw away loose change that I find around the house rather than having to put it in a receptacle and roll it for deposit at the bank.
-Sometimes I use schoolwork as an excuse when I want to evade a previous commitment.
-I wrap my leg around John’s legs at night even though I know he doesn’t like it much. And I don’t let him reciprocate.
-I’m not always careful about separating other family members’ laundry by color and fabric although I get really annoyed if they aren’t careful with my clothes.
-If I buy a container of fresh pineapple, I usually eat it all myself even though CatGirl really likes it, too.
-Sometimes I’m too lazy to turn off the bathroom light before I go to bed even though I know it makes it hard for John to sleep.
-I’m not nice in the mornings.
-I play games to win. -
it’s the bomb…
The chilling beauty of these ‘mushroom cloud’ images might be an appropriate accompaniment to John’s Wednesday challenge. As I saw the homes leveled by the winds and thought of the untold devastation of Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and the Nevada tests, I found myself in awe of the power of humanity at the same time I was horrified that such weapons were ever developed, much less used on humans (enemy or otherwise).
I have often wondered if Utah’s nuclear legacy is a reason for my own bout of osteosarcoma. It may have more to do with my father’s research in petrochemicals during the time of my conception. Or it may be an entirely random ailment. In any case, I have bone-deep empathy for those whose bodies were and are maimed in acts of war or other violence.
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Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Picture: a rose with yellow petals, tinged with pink and red at the edges.
“My Heavenly Father Loves Me” was my all-time favorite Primary song when I was a little girl. One reason I loved it was because each time we sang it Miss Tammy would choose a handful of kids to hold pictures representing the images of the song: a bird, a rain shower, etc. and I would raise my hand high, hoping to be one of the children chosen to for the special job of holding a picture while we sang.
It seems fitting to me that even now when I contemplate the song of a bird or the breeze rustling through the trees I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the beauty of the world and I feel closer to the divine.
Whenever I hear, the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by a lilac tree
I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heavenly Father created for me.
