Author: Jana

iris tongue, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

It’s late and I want to sleep. That’s all I have to say to this crazy body of mine that is STILL AWAKE and not SLEEPING.

golden touch, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Over the years several friends have asked me why I took my husband’s name rather than keeping my maiden name. I have a simple answer: because I liked my husband’s surname better than mine. My maiden name is German and rather rough-sounding. It is an unusual name (I’ve never met another person with the name that’s not in my family) and is hard to spell. John’s last name is French, it’s short, and it’s easily spelled. So changing my name had little to do with any kind of feminist politics–it was just a desire to adopt a more aesthetically-pleasing name.

Nowadays, I change my name depending on what I’m doing. For writing in the academic world, I use my first name, maiden name and John’s surname. However, for all other purposes I use my first name, middle name (not maiden) and John’s surname. The latter form is my legal name.

John and I have two sets of friends who changed their surname entirely when they married. One couple adopted a name that’s a hybrid of both of their former surnames. Another chose a word that they liked and used that as their surname. Had John and I known either of these folks before we married, I’m sure that we would have discussed adopting a new surname. As it stands, though, we are all pleased with the current surname. However I won’t be hurt if my children choose to change or alter their names in the future. The ability and power to name oneself is huge. I can’t begrudge them that choice!

In high school my friends all called me “Yawna” rather than Jana. It was fun to have a nickname and an identity that’s linked to that particular time of my life.

Not too long after John and I married we (rather spontaneously) started calling each other by different names. To John I am Dilly, not Jana. I love that this is a name that only he calls me, and whenever I hear him say it, I go a bit weak in the knees.

Lately I have considered changing my first name. I don’t think I’ll really make a change, but it was nice to ponder for a bit. The desire to change was motivated by the impulse to mark a new self. I am not the Jana of ten or twenty years ago. I am new, I am evolving.

paperwhite 3, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

I love the simple beauty of this photo! These paperwhite flowers are blooming along my front fence area. They are small, almost unnoticeable. But there is something so endearing about them! I feel calmer, more centered just gazing on them….A space of peace in a busy weekend.

Tonite for dinner I cooked a homemade pizza with a pesto sauce made from the abundance of basil in my garden. It’s gotten a bit colder lately and I’m guessing that the basil might not last too much longer (I usually lose it in late December) so I figured it was time to use it up! I also picked the last of my lettuce for our dinner salad. Most of the plants bolted in the heat last week so there were just a few good leaves left per plant.

In my haste to get the dinner put together, apparently I didn’t wash the lettuce as well as usual. Both John and GameBoy found small snails in their salad. Eeuuuuwwww….I am having lots of snail problems this year–any thoughts on natural snail deterrents? (btw, I promise if you join us for dinner at our home, I’ll make sure to triple wash the lettuce!)

lantana at night, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

The quality of this pic ins’t the best–I’m sure it could benefit from a little photoshop massage…But I love what it does capture–the silver grays, greens, and purples of my garden at dusk. The lantana is adjacent to the lamb’s ear in my flowerbed and this blossom looked so pretty in contrast to the soft leaves below.

So when you see this picture, just imagine that the sun is setting and you are enjoying the solitude of the growing darkness. Peace….