Dear LDS missionaries

I am humbled by your care for the feelings of two representatives of an organization that has caused both you and John so much anguish.
I am not nearly as gracious. I would have told them where to go if they had knocked on my door.

This is Lucy.
I usually avoid the computer because my mom's reading choices almost always make me cry, and my eyes almost always betray me and start reading anyway. I'm glad this was up when I woke this morning. Lightyears better than a message of hate; you are a wonderful person. So many people are kids who don't know much at all (like me).

All:
Recently I've found myself angry all over again at the church. I'm not sure why, but the wounds continue to resurface and fester. But I do tend to love the Mormon people that I know, and I hate to take out that anger on them–especially such sweet/naive kids as those missionaries–who remind me of my own kids and of my friends' kids so much.

I love this letter. For so many reasons. It made me miss you. We must be sure to have lunch in my neighborhood this month. I can't wait!

I started talking to someone the other day in the pet store, and as I walked out to my car her saw my coexist stickers and made a comment about how they were interesting. I told him I was a Quaker, and he continued to tell me about Jesus and how he thought it was so sad that some of his older friends don't believe in Jesus- I said something like, well different things are good for different people, and he said that I seemed like a nice lady, and he was glad that I believed in something. I couldn't get into it with him- but I was happy that the way that I reacted was not in ager or frustration, but rather acceptance.

I think that the way that you treated the young men is such a testimony of the values you have and the beliefs that you have about accepting others and being kind to others.

Sometimes I feel that my values conflict with my emotional reactions to people and I have a hard time being kind rather than defensive, but I am getting better about it, and I guess its part of the journey…

What a beautiful letter. I'm sorry to hear that your feelings of anger have been resurfacing (happy to talk with you about that anytime, Jana, as we would have so much to share). I find myself torn over the missionary visits, too. I hate it when they knock, and I want them to go away, but I remember that before my husband left the faith that was him, a young naive 19 year old doing what he believed at the time was the right thing to do (because he'd been told so all his life). You dealt with both situations perfectly. Those missionaries might someday be like Chris and John are now: outside the church with a whole new sense of the world. They are less likely to be open to new and different ideas, though, if people like us treat them like crap just for doing what they've been told and for following their 19 year old hearts. It's a journey, after all, isn't it?

Jana, I swear: sometimes your blog brings be back from the brink.

Your prose here is excellent. Spare, but heartfelt. Really well done!!

Good can come of FMH being down. Serendipity (and sidebars)led me to this beautiful post. Thank you for coaxing me toward more patience and understanding.

As an ex-Mormon, I too struggle with how to react to the young missionaries who come to my door. Your letter describes what I feel to be a perfect example. I'm sure they left your home feeling positive. My younger sister completed her mission several years ago and the stories I heard from her of how cruel strangers were to them at times made me sad.

Even though I don't personally agree with what my family believes, I have to remember that they are simply doing what they feel to be the right thing.

Thanks everyone else, for your comments here. I love the idea of the audience who reads Jana's words regularly, like I do, think alike despite our differences. What a wonderful community to be a part of.

-Tracee