Jana Remy
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Jana Remy

  • Writing
    • Disability
    • Making History
    • Digital Humanities
      • dayofDH
    • Canoeing
    • Creative Nonfiction & Essays
    • Feminism
    • Bibliographies
      • Pacific Worlds Bibliography
    • Social Media
      • Mentions/Links
  • Scholarship
    • Awards/Fellowships
    • Conferences & Invited Talks
    • Collaboration
    • Workshops
    • Conference Planning
    • Technical Skills
  • Teaching
    • Blogposts About Teaching
deep thoughts

to loosen my heart…

written by Jana November 3, 2009

“I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.”

~Dawna Markova

I love this quote from the comments on a recent news article about a teammate’s death. I’ve thought a lot about the risks of my daily activities: whether it be driving down the freeway, taking a cross-country flight, or paddling off into a foggy night. I know there are inherent risks in many things that I do and by simply living I choose to risk my significance. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Jana

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4 comments

melanie November 3, 2009 - 2:19 pm

I often think the same thing when the wind is hitting my face just right as I ride my bike down a particular Parkway. I couldn't trade those moments of bliss- moment when I feel the most infinite- for fear.

Reply
G November 3, 2009 - 5:59 pm

that poem reminds me a bit of jack london's credo: "I'd rather be ashes than dust…"

things like this are sobering. The idea that death happens, even in the most unexpected times and places, even when nothing risky is being done, it happens.

There's a bit of grace involved in just accepting that and continuing to live.

Reply
Anonymous November 5, 2009 - 2:40 am

I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail.
Yes, I would.
If I could,
I surely would.
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.
Yes, I would.
If I only could,
I surely would.

Away, I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here and gone.
A man gets tied up to the ground.
He gives the world
Its saddest sound,
Its saddest sound.

I'd rather be a forest than a street.
Yes, I would.
If I could,
I surely would.
I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet.
Yes, I would.
If I only could,
I surely would.

Reply
Rah November 5, 2009 - 5:39 pm

Love the quotation! Lots of grist for meditation today. BTW, good wishes on your dissertation. I remember days when dissertation was the carpet on my living room floor, when my vision was blurred and when random phrases from the dissertation would appear on the inside of my eyelids when I lay down to (attempt to) sleep. Cheers from here!

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About Me

About Me

Hi there friend, and welcome to my blog. I started writing on the internet two decades ago. Since then I've started and finished a PhD program, left the Mormon church and became a Quaker, got divorced, remarried, found full-time work in academia, took up rock climbing and outrigger canoeing, and traveled across the globe (China! Belgium! Italy! Chicago! Montana! Portland! Gettysburg! and oh-so-many points in-between). This blog is eclectic and random--it has poetry and cooking and books. And cats. And flowers. And the ocean (my ocean). But in that sense it's a good reflection of me and my wide-ranging, far-reaching, magpie curiosity.

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