Category: amputee

  • on cats & crutches

    John asked (as he was simultaneously petting ellycat and toweling off after his morning shower):
    “What if humans had fur like cats all over their bodies?”

    Jana: “Then we would have riots and wars over the fact that some of us cats have different-colored fur. Can you imagine how snotty the Siamese-cat humans would be?”

    John: “Me, I’d be a hairless cat”

    John finished drying off and the conversation drifted off into another direction. But as I was doing dishes this afternoon I thought a bit more about what type of cat I would be…

    I think I would be like the B&W three-legged cat that we used to meet on our walks to the garden. That cat was agile and strong. His missing leg caused him to lurch from side-to-side a bit, but never slowed him down.

    Being a three-legged catwould mean I would have no need of crutches like the new ones I bought yesterday. For 22 years I’ve used hand-me-down or thrift store crutches. For the first time I bought my own. They are of the space-age folding variety because I’m sick of having to hand-carry my full-size crutches every time I travel. They always cause problems at security checkpoints and they don’t fit in the overhead bin (thus, they usually ride in a posh first class coat closet while I’m relegated to coach). Because I like to travel light (e.g. two weeks in Europe w/one small daypack), the crutches really slow me down…

    But no more…(purr, purr)

  • techno-dependency

    Last night we got home super late from Claremont. So late that I quickly brushed my teeth and crawled into bed without plugging in my leg.

    You see, each night I plug in my prosthetic leg into a wall socket so the battery in my robotic knee will be all ‘charged up’ for the next day. Charging takes about two hours, so it makes sense to plug in at night–the charging cord is only 2 ft long so it’s unwieldly to get my juice at any other time of day (while I am actually wearing the leg).

    So first thing when I got up this morning, I plugged in and headed for the shower. I figured I could get at least half of a charge (about 12 hours-worth) during the time it would take me to get ready for church. I would put my leg on last thing and should have enough juice to make it through the day.

    All went as planned. Until I put my leg on. And then I realized that in my haste to get to bed the night before I had neglected to replace the valve that completes the suction on my leg and I couldn’t find it anywhere. The valve is kind of hard to decribe, but basically it’s a small metal disk that screws in on the inside of leg socket. I remove the valve to ‘break’ the suction of my socket when donning or doffing my leg. Without the valve I can’t complete the suction that holds my leg on. So when the valve went missing this morning I realized I was sunk. No valve, no suction. No suction, no wearing the leg. No wearing the leg meant crutches. Ugh.

    Fortunately I was able to riffle through a basket of spare parts and found an old leaky valve that fit my current leg. I knew that it would be annoying to wear a leaky valve–meaning that it would’t provide perfect suction and let a slow stream of air leak into the socket (uncomfortable), but I figured it would work well enough until I found my real valve. Which it did–I found the right one, with E’s help, under the sewing table after we returned from church.

    So…as I plugged in, searched for a valve, etc this morning, I was stuck by how dependent I am on technology, and how vulnerable I am because of this dependence. Without electricity I can’t use my prosthesis. Without that small metal valve, my leg is no good, either. As much as I feel that I am in control of my life, so much of what I do depends on the metal parts and the microprocessor that facilitate my mobility. As much as I resent the way I must depend on such technology, I am so glad to have it. It allows me to be me.

  • permablogger


    Hey, I’ve been invited to be a permablogger at SunstoneBlog.com. Quite an honor, indeed.

    Wny don’t you check out my first-ever post on “Mormons and Disability.”

  • amputee dancer


    Ckick the following link to learn more about Donato the one-legged dancer and other 19th-century amputee performers.
    Disability Studies, Temple U

  • mom, you probably don’t want to read this one…

    This afternoon I tried a neighbor’s scooter (not the stand-on kind, but rather a wanna-be vespa-type scooter).

    Poor John had to throw himself between me and a car in the parking lot when I panicked and accelerated. Straight forward. Into the rear end of a very nice pickup truck.

    So we learned a few things from this experience:

    1) When John is having to make a last-minute decision his first impulse is to throw his body at the problem–not thinking of the danger to himself. What a man!

    2) When Jana is nervous (yes, I was visibly shaking), she accelerates. Brakes? WHAT BRAKES!!!!!?????

    3) If Jana is going to own a scooter she is probably going to wear out the soles of her left shoe very quickly because of her Fred Flinstone style braking response.

    4) I LOVED RIDING THE SCOOTER!

    Most of my life is lived at a snail’s pace. I can’t run, jump, cavort or bike very well. I amble. But maybe, soon, I’ll be scooting. Wind whipping through my hair, imagining that I’m in Paris or Shanghai. Baguette, roses, and calico kitty in my back basket. Scarf flying at my neck. Bugs in my teeth because I’m grinning ear-to-ear…..

    Note: a part of me is saying, “SCOOTER–what are you thinking??? Do you want to lose your other leg, too?” The other part of me is saying, Geez. it’s not any faster than a bicycle. And think of all the wear and tear you can save on the car…”

  • cartoon


    A bit of political commentary/amputee humor for your friday afternoon….
    [Note: I’ve been getting asked lately if I lost my leg in the war. It shocks me to have to field this question, but it speaks to the recent increase in those of us who’ve lost limbs….]

  • a reply

    Part of my reply to this post:
    Perhaps the best thing you can do is talk to your kids a lot about physical difference. But don’t perpetuate stereotypes about disability (that the disabled are helpless and abnormal). Have the kids try to imagine how they would do things if they needed to use a wheelchair, or were lacking an arm, or were hearing impaired. Teach them that all members of our world have a right to access public institutions. Have them imagine how we can do better to create a world that can accomodate people of with all types of abilities.

  • toes II (sans tofu)

    Ok, the yucky toe I wrote about in my last message is no longer just a yucky infected toe. It is really a yucky infected BROKEN toe. That’s why it’s been hurting so badly. Du-uh.

    This experience has taught me that I just don’t appreciate my toes enough. Daily I praise and give thanks for my knee and ankle, but my toes have gotten short-shrifted. From now on, I will no longer take my toes for granted. I will give them the love and attention that they each deserve. Everyday….As soon as the current swollen and painful and BROKEN toe ceases to make my whole body ache.

  • leg(s)

    Two weeks ago I had new cosmesis, or “skin” put on my artifcial leg. To do so I went to a clinic where I’d never been before to meet with the tech who’d be designing my leg. It isn’t a quick process. I’ve already written a bit about that here.

    So I meet with this Tech and we talk about what I like my leg to look like. I point to some problem areas on my current skin (the wrinkly calf, the hole in my ankle, etc). I tell him that I like firmer foam around my thigh, with a softer–more bendable–style at my knee. We discuss different aspects of my lifestyle. Tech spends about 10 min looking at my real leg and taking measurements. He tries not to register shock at my 16″ calf (yes, those muscles are big!). He tells me that he always downsizes the leg a bit from the true size, “to look more shaplely and natural.” Most Techs actually trace my left leg so they can get the shape just right. This Tech, though, says he can do it from just a visual and some measurements. I decide to trust him on this.

    Then he goes back into the shop for a few hours and emerges with a “shapely” leg.

    Tech’s done a fine job. The leg is smooth and well-shaped. It matches the one on the left nicely. I put it on and he has me walk all around the office and look in all of the full-length mirrors. The receptionist and other techs form a line down the hall and give their opinions. Then I try on various pairs of pants to see if the leg looks right. Tech makes a few adjustments and then sends me on my way. The strong smell of chemical adhesive that exudes from my leg is disconcerting. I roll down the windows in the car on the drive home.

    All day long I find myself trying to get used to the new feel. I touch my calf and it is oddly spongy. I put on black stockings and find that I like the way it looks. It’s been a very time long since I wore a short skirt.

  • I am so not a football fan

    When I was 13, Rich Karlis–the then-famous barefoot kicker of the Denver Broncos–kissed me in front of my entire middle school. Rich was visiting the school to speak at an assembly, and I had walked in late to the gym, and…voila, he spied me sneaking in (‘cuz it’s hard to sneak on crutches, which I was using at the time), and planted a big kiss on my cheek.

    We’d been friends for about a year. He often came to the Denver Children’s Hospital to visit us cancer patients, to cheer us up. Sometimes he even brought his buddies–guys like John Elway–to visit, too. He got us tickets to Broncos games, brought us Broncos T-shirts, etc.

    Of course all of us teen girls were completely smitten with the handsome and famous football player. We especially appreciated his hugs and kisses. What a great feeling to get attention from a hunky athlete!

    During the time when I was kissing Rich I was an avid football fan. Though I never bother with such things now. But when I do hear that the Broncos are having a good season, I get a warm fuzzy feeling. And, the last time they won the Super Bowl I watched the game and cried. Rich was long-gone from the Broncos, but my tears were still ones of joy. And of gratitude for the famous guy who gave so much hope and love to us kids from the 4th floor.

  • autist

    My brother David posted this test for autism on his blog. I’m a 22, which means that I’m on the upper end of normal for a female. Curious.

    My results may have been skewed by the fact that I just finished reading a book with an autistic protagonist. Elizabeth Moon’s _The Speed of Dark_ is a fabulous tale about an adult autist who is faced with the choice of whether to take a treatment to cure his condition or remain as he is. I picked up the book because I like thinking about the way that disability affects personal identity. In my own situation, I know that my disability is not the core of who I am, yet it is such a big part of me that I can’t really imagine life without it. And I’m not sure I would want to. Though I would like to run, jump and frolic like a 2-legged person, I like that having just one leg makes me unique. And that this uniqueness is something that draws people to me. Would I really want to give this up?

    I suspect that with increasing advancements in medical technology, I may have to make this choice someday. While, at times, I crave being a bi-ped again, at other times I wonder if I’m too comfortable as I am.

  • The Ring

    Had another long visit to the prosthetist today. Got a new socket and new skin. Cool.

    But the visit took 5 hours and I had the kids in tow so we brought a movie to watch on my laptop [yes, junebug*, you are amazing]. We watched the really long geek version of The Return of the King. And it took the _whole_ time. My finished leg was brought in for trying on just after Gollum fell to his doom. Great timing!

    But what’s hard about watching a movie like that on a Friday morning is that afterwards you have to return to Real Life. You get home from your appointment and there are emails to answer, dishes to wash, piles of paper that need sorting…

    But Frodo just altered the fate of the universe. And Gandalf is alive. And Sam is the coolest best friend ever. And life just can’t resume as if that didn’t just happen!!
    :)
    *FYI, junebug is my beloved Inspiron 700m