Author: Jana

  • dedication

    dedication

    I was filling in the template for my dissertation file last night.  As I typed up the dedication page, I was pretty humbled by all of the people that I wanted to name–those who listened and read and helped and were just there when I needed them. (really friends, you are amazing and I owe you so much…)

    But as I thought about what it meant to me to do this degree and how it impacted the lives of the people around me, I realized that getting a Ph.D. is probably the single most selfish thing that I’ve ever done.  I did this for me.  Not for my kids or for the money or for my parents or for god.

    For.  me.

  • seizing the tools…

    seizing the tools…

    Cyborg writing is about the power to survive, not on the basis of original innocence, but on the basis of seizing the tools to mark the world that marked them as other. 

    –Donna Haraway

  • Twitter Weekly Digest for @janaremy, 2012-05-11

  • almost there…

    almost there…

    Ten years ago I took the first steps to something important, this becoming-a-doctor thing.  It’s so close now, that the last step is consuming all of my mental energy and my discretionary time.  In the midst of it all I’ve left emails unresponded-to, missed appointments with friends, and have been a bit short-tempered in situations where I would usually be calm.

    I’m told, by others who’ve done their PhDs, that this is normal.  The end is hard and intense and time-consuming.  For me, it feels a lot like when I’m almost to the top of a rock-climb and I’m exhausted and my whole body is shaking from the effort to get there.  At that point it’s all I can do to keep focused on what’s in front of me and take it one step at a time.  If I get distracted by anything other than reaching the top, it’s likely that I won’t have the energy to do that one last push to get there.

    So…I apologize for my flakiness in the meantime.  Just a few more weeks and I’ll be on the other side of this and life will go back to photos and paddling and poetry and time-with-friends once again…

  • Twitter Weekly Digest for @janaremy, 2012-05-04

  • Life with the (digital) natives…

    Life with the (digital) natives…

    The other day Catgirl told me that there was a story in the newspaper about one of her school events.  She reported to me that this story was in the New York Times, which I just happen to subscribe to on the weekends.

    Why do I describe to a newspaper, you ask?  Me, who is more cyborg-digital than just about anyone else on the planet?  Because there’s nothing else quite like reading the paper on weekend mornings over coffee.

    So she grabbed the Times, excised it from its plastic wrapper and realized that she had no idea what to do with it.

    Where is it?  She asked, holding the folded paper and gesturing to what seemed to be some kind of magical miniature kitten hiding within its folds.

    I explained that she would most likely find a Table of Contents on the first or second page.  She kept turning the folded thing around in her hands trying to figure out where the ON button was located.

    Her brother grabbed the paper from her hands and started gently unfolding it like origami, all the while explaining:

    “My cultural knowledge tells me that one is supposed to grab the pages on each side and pull them open like this.”

    And with that he succeeded in unlocking the mystery that is the newspaper, as a pile of advertising supplements fell at his feet.

    Catgirl eventually found the Table of Contents and noticed that there were obituaries listed.  She seemed to find that fascinating, but still had no idea where she’d locate the article about high school students that she was seeking.  Within a few moments she gave up, leaving the newspaper in a folded heap on the dining room armoire (which, incidentally, holds a television set that we’ve never bothered to examine since moving into the house where we’re living this year).

     

  • Twitter Weekly Digest for @janaremy, 2012-04-27

  • short shameful confession #19

    short shameful confession #19

    I have many, many clocks in my house.  They are all set to different times.  And not just slightly different times, but radically different times.  Like, the clock on the fireplace will say 4:12pm when the one on the kitchen stove says something like 6:45pm.  And both times are wrong.

    Honestly, it doesn’t bother me much because I usually have my laptop or phone at hand and I know they have the ‘correct’ time.  So all of those other clocks just don’t register with me–I rarely even notice them.

    But it does seem to be a bit disconcerting to some people who hang out at my place.  So recently we considered setting a 10 minute appointment to run around the house and change every once of the clocks to the same time.  I’m not averse to doing so–in fact I think it could be kind of fun to have everything in sync for once.

    However…like so many other household things that need doing, I realize that I just don’t seem to find the time to get it done.

    PS:  Picture above is because teatime is always my favorite time of day–whenever it happens  :)

    Read Previous Short Shameful Confessions

  • the wild west (of the internets)

    the wild west (of the internets)

    Recently, I received an email from someone in the marketing department of an institution that I’m affiliated with.  Turns out, he was expressing concern about some of my web activities that didn’t carry appropriate institutional branding.  He explained that I was “going all wild west” and doing things my own way instead of following policy.

    Boy, did I get a kick out of that message.

    Because I realized that what I like most about the various digital spaces where I play, is precisely that they are all “wild west.”  As soon as such venues are codified and monetized, they lose their appeal for me.  I need a place to play and get messy and make mistakes.  I don’t much need a place to play by the rules.  I already have plenty of those kinds of places in my life.

    For example, lately I’ve lost interest in Twitter.  While I still auto-tweet some blogposts and post photos of what I’m eating, I don’t generate much new content there nowadays.  Instagram, which seemed a lot of fun for awhile, lost a lot of its appeal when it was bought by Facebook.  Ditto for Gowalla and Brizzly (Gowalla I miss especially–I liked it early on when I was earning badges and toting items around wherever I traveled).   I though maybe Pinterest would be my new digs, that is until Ann Romney joined.  That kind of killed it for me.  I dabbled a bit in Storify until I realized that it was cross-posting all of my stuff to Facebook.  Ugh.  Hate applications that go there.

    So…I need a new online frontier.  Anyone have any suggestions for me?

    Note: photo above taken while I was on a western road trip two weeks ago–driving from one end of California to the other…

  • Twitter Weekly Digest for @janaremy, 2012-04-20

  • make me smile…

    make me smile…

    Heather’s post about her changes in blogging since her marital separation got me thinking about how my blog has changed over the past couple of years.  That, and the recent attention that my Mother Work post* garnered from various media outlets made me remember a time when a lot of what I wrote here was meaningful and interesting and widely-linked.

    A huge change in my blogging practice is due to working full-time.  Gone are the times when I could devote an entire morning to composing a blogpost.  Added to that, is the fact that I’m not getting as personal anymore–for so many reasons.  And, I’m working so much in ‘auto-pilot’ mode most of the time, that I’m not sure that I even have many deep thoughts to share anymore.

    So, instead, I post random bits of poetry and some photos, my travelogues, and the music that’s driving my day.  Because they make me smile and that happiness seems worth sharing with you.

    These days I feel more like a magpie who’s pulling at random bits of string and shiny things to feather her nest, than I do a writer with something important to say.

    *That Mother Work post was the product of a two-hour middle-of-the-night writing jag when I just couldn’t sleep.  Those nights are few and far-between now that my alarm is ringing at 6am.

  • how the sea pines…

    how the sea pines…

    Honestly, I never would have thought that a comparison of the sea to a book could work quite this well.  I’m reading this poem over and over and over again, and it’s pulling my thoughts towards finding a beach to pitch my tent this weekend…
    (note: more of Claire’s poetry can be found here).

    Aquinnah

    by Claire Åkebrand

    Midnight rain gusts against the tent’s drape.
    What height might the already tall waves since noon
    have reached. No light illuminates the felted seascape.
    Just a dim glow of froth, and dune,
    waves all ruffled up pages of a book
    no one has entirely read. How the sea pines
    for a reader. I hear her slinging her hooks.
    No one walks the shallows at this hour. Her brine
    would tow me quickly to her heart. What sea
    creatures might gape for me there.
    Drowsing off, I’m swallowed, and reeled
    again and again by the wake and snared
    to a place each human has been before
    to find nothing but the sallow ocean floor.