Author: Jana

  • hope

    Yesterday, my friend David sent this link to a news story about Sky High Hope Camp. I was a camper at SHHC for several years—primarily during high school. To say that Sky High is a magical place would be an understatement. In fact, as I sat back today to remember my time there, I couldn’t help but grin widely at the flood of memories. Yes, I remember that it was uncomfortable, dirty, hot, primitive, etc. But it was so FUN!

    Perhaps for me, as a cancer survivor and young teen, the most important part of camp was the social interaction. Everyone there had been touched by cancer. Many of us were still sick or suffering side-effects of treatment. Being an amputee at SHHC was no big deal. Canes, crutches and wheelchairs were commonplace.

    But most of all, it was a place where we could just be kids (or in my case, teens). There no one asked goofy questions about our baldness or disability. There we were all ‘normal.’ And as someone who desperately needed friends who could understand what I’d been through, I craved the companionship of other teens who had been through the same.

    I remember long nights of card games, sneaking out in the middle of the night behind the counselor’s backs and being in cabins or tents where I shouldn’t have been. We often broke the rules, but our rule-breaking seemed justifiable in light of the fact that our lives had been so cruelly ‘broken’ by disease. It hardly seemed mentionable that we were in the wrong cabin, when each of us was facing death’s door.

    At camp I also experienced love—the kind of teen love that can leap tall buildings and climb high mountains. Camp provided numerous opportunities for romance and it flourished every year. Though I have fond memories of midnight trysts, what I remember best is a kind of quiet longing that became more intense as friends died [friends like LeighAnn, Russ, and John D]. I was never sure which of us campers would be back the next year. And I was most afraid that it wouldn’t be me or my beloved.

  • walking

    Last week a friend told me that I should try to hide my disability better because otherwise I will embarrass my kids. She suggested that I needed to learn to walk better–without any limp. She encouraged me to wear clothes that would hide my prosthesis.

    I really didn’t know how to respond. Then I thought for a minute. These comments were from a woman who is overweight. She wears high-heeled shoes despite some serious back problems that are exacerbated by her choice of footwear. I have never seen her exercise.

    OTOH, I go to the gym often and lift weights or swim. I eat healthily. I walk several blocks/day. I wear athletic shoes and clothing that makes me comfortable.

    I may walk differently, but I can still get where I need to go. And my kids don’t seem embarrassed.

  • Guytoko fish


    Guytoko fish
    Originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    E’s a budding young artist. I’ll be posting her efforts from summer school on my flickr page over the next few days…

    Enjoy!

  • Make me smile…

    –Find my cellphone in the garden in the middle of the night when all of the scary beasties are out & about.
    –Come home for dinner and tell me that you’re happy I cooked for you (even if it’s broccoli soup which isn’t your favorite)
    –Meet me in the UCI bookstore at midday even if it’s only because I need to give you Matt’s hard drive.

  • leavin’

    John’s heading up to Sunstone tomorrow. I am staying home since I’m usually the one heading out of town for conferences these days and one of us has to see the kids through the end of summer school.

    I’m renting some good movies while John’s gone. Movies with Ewan McGregor that don’t involve light sabers. {BTW, did you know that Ewan, John and I are all the same age? Ewan was born in one of the two months between me & John’s birthdays}. Oh, and I might rent some Brad Pitt movies, too (tho he’s no longer as attractive to me as he used to be. Even though his photo shoot with Jolie was oh-so-vintage-cool).

    But I’ll also be incredibly lonely and more than a little bored this week without John. I’ll miss him…

  • Make me smile…

    Take me to hear Rachmaninoff at the symphony. And not just any old piano player, but make it Alexander Kobrin, the 25 year-old Russian boy-wonder. And make the music be Rach’s Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini. And watch me hold my breath until it’s over and then cry because it’s over…
    and then smile :)

  • tree


    tree
    Originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Just added some pictures from our family’s trip to Sequoia and Kings Canyon in May. Very fun. Perhaps the kids favorite part was the snowball fight with Chris. :)

  • page count


    IMG_3676
    Originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    c-boy: page 188
    jana: page 62

  • Harry Potter Party


    IMG_3667, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Harry and Hermione are ready to party!

  • Tasty

    Wolfing down homemade bruschetta with tomatoes and basil from my garden on whole grain “pain rustique” and feeling the garlic taste linger on my tongue.
    There must be garlic in heaven. And avocadoes, too.

  • Friends

    Yesterday my friend Susan visited from Utah along with her husband and her 3 little boys. It was pretty crazy having so many people packed into our small place!

    But it was also delightful to get “caught up” on everything that’s been going on in her life. When we’re together I often feel like we’ve hardly been apart! Her husband is contemplating a move down to Orange County. I know it’s premature to even _hope_ that she might be living nearby, but what fun that would be!!

    After Susan left I went to Outhouse–my weekly meeting with other liberal Mormons. John led the discussion on “male Mormon feminists.” (You, like most people, might be asking if there is such a thing–we hashed that one out for about 2 hours!). It was great–we laughed, talked, fought a bit, and really had a very passionate discussion. I feel so lucky to have these friends. They make life so much more fun and meaningful.

  • Make me smile…

    This morning I sat in bed all cozy and writing on my Inspiron 700m. I plugged my iTunes into the speakers that are under my bed and blasted Rachmaninoff’s Concerto No. 2 in C Minor. I closed my eyes and realized that life just doesn’t get much better than this!!
    :)