Author: Jana

  • Making do

    For various reasons, we didn’t leave our house as fully prepared for our ‘home away from home’ adventure as we had planned to be. Part of it was the last minute rush. Part of it was that both John and I tried ‘earmark’ the food to be packed in our own ways, which resulted in much of it being left behind.

    And we also didn’t want to go to a grocery store and buy a ton of food (trying to eat locally and all). So this is what we had for dinner tonite:

    Pasta that was supposed to have some fresh tomato & basil sauce. Only we forgot the garlic (oops) and there were very few ripe tomatoes in the garden. So we had pasta w/mysterious sauce (satueed in a bit of olive oil and simmered until kinda mushy) of a few small tomatoes, yellow bell pepper, tomatillos, yellow squash, and chocolate peppers. With a few shavings of freshly grated parmesan on top. And a side salad of sliced cucumbers tossed w/a bit of sea salt. And a slice of bread toasted w/butter and bit of parmesan on the side (yum). All in all, hearty and good.

    For dessert I sliced up the rest of the peaches that were nearly too ripe and tossed them with a sprinkle of sugar and a bit of butter. Then I crumbled some TJ’s vegan cookies on top. Except for the fact that the cookies burnt ever-so-slightly on top, it was super tasty!

    The one thing I like best about our temporary home: I can see my garden from my bedroom window. What a gift. Despite all of the inconveniences of being away from our ‘stuff’ for a few days (and having limited internet access), we are enjoying ourselves immensely. :)

  • Moanday, Moanday!


    Perhaps it isn’t at all ironic that Sara’s meme tag came after nearly 24 hours straight of moaning and complaining as I had to prepare our home for termite fumigation (I only slept a few hours last night and just grabbed the last few belongings as they were posting the DO NOT ENTER signs on our door….). So I am now sitting cross-leg on the questionably clean carpet in a temporary apartment and watching “The Belle of Amherst” on DVD as I try to calm the kitties down a bit. They have never lived anywhere besides our place and (poor things) Toby won’t even come out from under one of the beds for tuna. Ellycat has glued herself to my side as if to let me know that she knows no vet will come after her in the place of strange smells & sounds as long as I am nearby. Once the kitties calm down a bit they will be delighted to learn that there is a nest on the eaves of the backporch here with the sweetest little orange-throated finch-looking birdies chirping up a storm.

    The Moaning Meme
    5 people who will be annoyed you tagged them.

    -John & Miko
    -CatBonny
    -Brooke
    -TanyaSue
    -Caroline
    But to everyone else, consider yourself tagged and please play along!

    4 things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth.

    -Packing for moving.
    We had to to a mini-packing this week (all food, toiletries, and catstuff and anything we needed to survive in a bare-bones apartment) to prepare for the tenting & termite fumigation. Pain.

    -War.
    Really. And any activity done with the intent to harm another person or creature.

    -Rodents.
    ‘Nuff said.

    -Body Odor
    There are good body smells and bad body smells. I’m talking about the bad ones.

    -Cancer.
    Yah, duh. And while we’re at it we can just eliminate disease in general. (Note: I know this is #5 on my list of 4 things, but I’m not much of a rule-follower…)

    3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently. (Ok, really I can’t think of wanting to shake anyone badly, so I’m playing along in the spirit of the meme if not literally)

    -parents or teachers talking smack to little kids
    -praise for our current presidential regime
    -folks who voluntarily join the military (and the corrupt gov’t who sends them on fighting missions)

    2 things you find yourself moaning about.

    -dictatorial community garden members
    -health insurance woes

    1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself.

    -I’m quite sure that my opinions are correct and that everyone else should acknowledge my wisdom.

  • because things are getting a little hairy around here….

    So here are John’s (very un-snape-like) luscious curls (and I am green with envy because my hair will never be this gorgeous)…

    John asked for a haircut tonite, a funny synchronicity given that we discussed the story of Samson & Delilah in my Quaker Dialogue group earlier today. So we bantered a bit back and forth about the loss of his ‘power’ when I cut his curls and I quoted him my favorite line from The Outsiders, “Your tough, tough hair Ponyboy” (spoken to the Ralph Macchio character as his hair is cut & bleached while he’s on the lam). And I got out the razor, the scissors, and came out with Neo:

    But the best part was during the cleanup, when these goofy characters appeared:

  • because I cried…

    I bawled during the last 100 pages of The Book. In real-life situations I am not really much of a cry-er but I can be quite emotional while reading and watching movies (yah, I always cry when I watch LOTR even though I know exactly how it will end!). I think I also internalized much of the drama of the Harry Potter story because I see my son in Harry’s stead and my daughter in Ginny and Hermione. When these characters are in danger I feel like one of my own is in danger. [Note: spoiler ahead] and when Mrs. Weasley comes out in defense of her daughter that was ME, I was fighting right there along with her!

    Oddly enough, I don’t think anyone else in my family had quite the emotional reaction that I did. It was certainly exacerbated by sleep deprivation and the intensity of reading the whole thing in the space of a few hours. But I really FELT it.

    What about you, do you ever get emotional about books and/or movies? If so, which ones?

    Oh, and if you need a smile, you really should read this post from Lymphopo. Adorable!

  • reading….


    the first few words, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    What page are you on?
    Note: click on the photo above to see more photos from the party!

    UPDATE: I’m done (10:39 pm)! Whew!

  • i am not a flower

    So I am going to start posting a few self-portraits here. To indulge my narcissism. Or, perhaps, to help me to experiment with taking a few pictures of something besides flowers.

    I snapped this one in the bathroom mirror just after I returned home from my morning swim. You can see my left ear–the one that had the pre-cancerous birthmark that was removed and regular skin grafted on in its place. I think the doctor did a pretty good job with the surgery, as you can hardly see which parts are grafted and which aren’t. I had this surgery nearly 25 years ago and it’s still quite weird to me that I can’t ‘feel’ my ear at all because of the graft. Just this morning my earring came out as I was towel-drying my hair at poolside and it took awhile for me to get it back in because I couldn’t feel my earlobe at all.

  • library


    This photo makes me want to reorganize our library. Sooooo tempting…..

  • berries (and chocolate!)


    dark chocolate is sexy, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    It occurred to me yesterday morning, as I was squealing with delight at the absolute perfect ‘strawberry-ness’ of a fresh strawberry that I was eating after washing it off with the garden hose, that I wish I could have the whole world in my garden tasting berries along with me. I can’t imagine that hate and war could continue in the face of such goodness.

    Ditto for a good bar of super dark chocolate….

  • sunflower


    sunflower, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    I’m just enjoying my sunflowers so much this year! I took this photo at dusk yesterday just as my camera was running out of battery power, which resulted in the rather odd lighting, I think.

  • waiting for…


    At the WACK exhibit there was a video showing of Faith reading this poem. She rocked back and forth as she recited each line. It was incredibly moving.

    As she read I realized that I have waited for almost all of these things and some I am still waiting for. Do you think this ‘waiting’ is simply part of the human condition or is it an experience that is peculiar to women? What, if anything, do you feel that you are “waiting for”?

    Waiting
    A Poem by Faith Wilding

    Waiting . . . waiting . . . waiting . . .
    Waiting for someone to come in
    Waiting for someone to hold me
    Waiting for someone to feed me
    Waiting for someone to change my diaper
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting to scrawl, to walk, waiting to talk
    Waiting to be cuddled
    Waiting for someone to take me outside
    Waiting for someone to play with me
    Waiting for someone to take me outside
    Waiting for someone to read to me, dress me, tie my shoes
    Waiting for Mommy to brush my hair
    Waiting for her to curl my hair
    Waiting to wear my frilly dress
    Waiting to be a pretty girl
    Waiting to grow up
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting for my breasts to develop
    Waiting to wear a bra
    Waiting to menstruate
    Waiting to read forbidden books
    Waiting to stop being clumsy
    Waiting to have a good figure
    Waiting for my first date
    Waiting to have a boyfriend
    Waiting to go to a party, to be asked to dance, to dance close
    Waiting to be beautiful
    Waiting for the secret
    Waiting for life to begin
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting to be somebody
    Waiting to wear makeup
    Waiting for my pimples to go away
    Waiting to wear lipstick, to wear high heels and stockings
    Waiting to get dressed up, to shave my legs
    Waiting to be pretty
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting for him to notice me, to call me
    Waiting for him to ask me out
    Waiting for him to pay attention to me
    Waiting for him to fall in love with me
    Waiting for him to kiss me, touch me, touch my breasts
    Waiting for him to pass my house
    Waiting for him to tell me I’m beautiful
    Waiting for him to ask me to go steady
    Waiting to neck, to make out, waiting to go all the way
    Waiting to smoke, to drink, to stay out late
    Waiting to be a woman
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting for my great love
    Waiting for the perfect man
    Waiting for Mr. Right
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting to get married
    Waiting for my wedding day
    Waiting for my wedding night
    Waiting for sex
    Waiting for him to make the first move
    Waiting for him to excite me
    Waiting for him to give me pleasure
    Waiting for him to give me an orgasm
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting for him to come home, to fill my time
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting for my baby to come
    Waiting for my belly to swell
    Waiting for my breasts to fill with milk
    Waiting to feel my baby move
    Waiting for my legs to stop swelling
    Waiting for the first contractions
    Waiting for the contractions to end
    Waiting for the head to emerge
    Waiting for the first scream, the afterbirth
    Waiting to hold my baby
    Waiting for my baby to suck my milk
    Waiting for my baby to stop crying
    Waiting for my baby to sleep through the night
    Waiting for my breasts to dry up
    Waiting to get my figure back, for the stretch marks to go away
    Waiting for some time to myself
    Waiting to be beautiful again
    Waiting for my child to go to school
    Waiting for life to begin again
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting for my children to come home from school
    Waiting for them to grow up, to leave home
    Waiting to be myself
    Waiting for excitement
    Waiting for him to tell me something interesting, to ask me how I feel
    Waiting for him to stop being crabby, reach for my hand, kiss me good morning
    Waiting for fulfillment
    Waiting for the children to marry
    Waiting for something to happen
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting to lose weight
    Waiting for the first gray hair
    Waiting for menopause
    Waiting to grow wise
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting for my body to break down, to get ugly
    Waiting for my flesh to sag
    Waiting for my breasts to shrivel up
    Waiting for a visit from my children, for letters
    Waiting for my friends to die
    Waiting for my husband to die
    Waiting . . .

    Waiting to get sick
    Waiting for things to get better
    Waiting for winter to end
    Waiting for the mirror to tell me that I’m old
    Waiting for a good bowel movement
    Waiting for the pain to go away
    Waiting for the struggle to end
    Waiting for release
    Waiting for morning
    Waiting for the end of the day
    Waiting for sleep
    Waiting . . .

    “Waiting” was performed at Womanhouse in Los Angeles sponsored by the Feminist Art Program, California Institute of the Arts.

  • seeds


    sunflower seeds, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

  • steamy


    sultry love on a steamy afternoon, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    To say that it was steamy this afternoon would be an understatement. You can tell by the hair plastered to our foreheads in this photo that lunch at a steamy ramen shop might not have seemed the smartest choice for a mushi atsui SoCal afternoon.