Author: Jana

  • the “look”


    chives!, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Because I look like a really nice, submissive, middle-class suburban wife/Mom (not to mention the visual baggage that comes with my disability), I think I’m stereotyped a lot. People seem to put me into a class of rather gentle submissive wives. Most of the time this doesn’t bother me much–and I do think if I had a tat or obvious body piercings it might result in a slight loss of credibility when I found myself at a PTA Meeting or when I drove the morning carpool (not that that’s really important, but…). There’s definitely something to be said for looking innocuous.

    However, what gets me frustrated occasionally, is when people suggest that I became disenchanted with Mormonism only because of John–that before that I was a totally satisfied Patti Perfect type of LDS member (because I just “looked” like I was). That line of thinking annoys me for two reasons: 1) That folks would think I would simply “follow” John out of the church without full awareness of the consequences; and 2) That my choosing to distance myself from the church wasn’t a decision that I made for my own reasons. I guess the third reason that it annoys me is that John was actually attending church fairly regularly until I told him that I wanted to stop. If anything, my departure is what precipitated his, and not vice versa (I know, I know, I’m just far too nice to be a true apostate, unlike John, who knows just when to use the f-word)…

    Those people who know me well have a good sense of how liberal my politics and my spiritual practices have been for the past decade (or more). Sure I know what to say and when to say it (meaning that I don’t go talking radical feminism and magical realism in LDS Meetings), but I continue to resent the way my “look” is somehow more indicative of “the real me” than my beliefs or my intent.

    I’ve tried to look more edgy and radical, but that’s just not my style. It’s far simpler to dress casually, to wear comfy shoes, to have a no-fuss hairstyle. I know I look every bit the conservative-leaning soccer Mom, and I’m just not sure that that’s going to change anytime soon.

    Photo is a close-up of some chive flowers from my garden (with morning dew clinging to each blossom). Their loveliness belies their inner spiciness. :)

  • the "look"


    chives!, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Because I look like a really nice, submissive, middle-class suburban wife/Mom (not to mention the visual baggage that comes with my disability), I think I’m stereotyped a lot. People seem to put me into a class of rather gentle submissive wives. Most of the time this doesn’t bother me much–and I do think if I had a tat or obvious body piercings it might result in a slight loss of credibility when I found myself at a PTA Meeting or when I drove the morning carpool (not that that’s really important, but…). There’s definitely something to be said for looking innocuous.

    However, what gets me frustrated occasionally, is when people suggest that I became disenchanted with Mormonism only because of John–that before that I was a totally satisfied Patti Perfect type of LDS member (because I just “looked” like I was). That line of thinking annoys me for two reasons: 1) That folks would think I would simply “follow” John out of the church without full awareness of the consequences; and 2) That my choosing to distance myself from the church wasn’t a decision that I made for my own reasons. I guess the third reason that it annoys me is that John was actually attending church fairly regularly until I told him that I wanted to stop. If anything, my departure is what precipitated his, and not vice versa (I know, I know, I’m just far too nice to be a true apostate, unlike John, who knows just when to use the f-word)…

    Those people who know me well have a good sense of how liberal my politics and my spiritual practices have been for the past decade (or more). Sure I know what to say and when to say it (meaning that I don’t go talking radical feminism and magical realism in LDS Meetings), but I continue to resent the way my “look” is somehow more indicative of “the real me” than my beliefs or my intent.

    I’ve tried to look more edgy and radical, but that’s just not my style. It’s far simpler to dress casually, to wear comfy shoes, to have a no-fuss hairstyle. I know I look every bit the conservative-leaning soccer Mom, and I’m just not sure that that’s going to change anytime soon.

    Photo is a close-up of some chive flowers from my garden (with morning dew clinging to each blossom). Their loveliness belies their inner spiciness. :)

  • teh awesome


    fuzzy peach, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    fresh peaches + tapioca pudding = teh awesome
    (just in case you didn’t already know that)

    Photo shows my peach tree at night. I love sitting in the garden as the sun sets and darkness spreads across the garden. Typically I am alone there in the gloaming, wholly absorbed in deep thought.

  • gettin’ political

    I do not believe that women are better than men. We have not wrecked railroads, nor corrupted legislatures, nor done many unholy things that men have done; but then we must remember that we have not had the chance.

    –Jane Addams, in a speech to the Chicago Political Equality League in 1897

    This quote from Jane Addams seems particularly salient given recent events (h/t Penny L. Richards). I’m thrilled to see more diversity in our highest political offices and it’s also quite exciting that Americans are seeming to really care about politics.

    May I suggest some ways that you Californians might want to exercise a bit of your political influence? First of all, grab your cellphone. It’s time to call the Governor.

    1) Harvey Milk Day: This bill would require the Governor to annually proclaim May 22 as Harvey Milk Day, and would encourage public schools and educational institutions to conduct suitable commemorative exercises on that date.
    To show your support for this bill, calll 916-445-2841
    If you reach a staff member, tell them that you are support AB 2567 Harvey Milk Day.
    Or if you get a recording…follow the recorded instructions to voice your opinion.

    Some biographical details about Harvey Milk:

    Perhaps more than any other modern figure, Harvey Milk’s life and political career embody the rise of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) civil rights movement. Milk was born on May 22, 1930. He was the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in a major city, serving on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors from 1977-1978.
    While in office, Milk worked to pass a gay rights ordinance and defeat Proposition 6, commonly known as the Briggs Initiative, which would have banned gays and lesbians from teaching in public schools. Milk encouraged LGBT people to be visible in society and believed coming out was the only way they could achieve true social equality.
    Milk was tragically assassinated in 1978 by Dan White, a former colleague on the Board of Supervisors whose politics often clashed with Milk’s. After resigning from the Board and being denied reappointment by then Mayor George Moscone, White entered San Francisco City Hall through a window armed with a gun and shot and killed both Moscone and Milk.
    During White’s criminal trial, the defense argued that White was a victim of pressure and had been depressed, a state exacerbated by his consuming a large quantity of junk food before the murders. This later became known as the “Twinkie Defense.” When this tactic proved successful and White was convicted of voluntary manslaughter and a mere seven years and eight months in prison, San Francisco’s gay community erupted into protest in what came to be known as the “White Night Riots.”
    Harvey Milk’s legacy as a civil rights leader is still felt today. He was named one of TIME Magazine’s most influential people of the 20th century. Many institutions and organizations are named for Harvey Milk to commemorate his life and social contributions.

    2) Universal HealthCare: SB 840.
    To weigh in on this bill, call 916.445.2841.
    Some info about this Universal HealthCare bill:

    General approach. Senate Bill 840 would establish a single-payer health insurance system for California. A new government-administered system would replace all private health insurers and existing government insurance programs, including Medicare. An elected Health Insurance Commissioner would oversee all aspects of the new system, including contracts with health care providers, the allocation of health care workforce and capital equipment, and the introduction of new technologies.

    Eligibility and benefits. All residents of California—defined as those with a physical presence in the state with intent to reside—would automatically be covered under the system. The benefit package would be very comprehensive, including not only the usual range of inpatient and outpatient services, diagnostic and laboratory services, and prescription drugs, but also mental health services, dental and vision care, chiropractic services, adult day care, and 100 days of skilled nursing care following hospitalization. Long-term care would not be covered. Copayments and deductibles could be established for other than preventive care. Patients could choose to receive services from any willing provider and providers would determine what services are medically necessary. Each person would have a primary care physician responsible for approving care to be received from specialists. People could choose to enroll with an integrated health care system, which would be responsible for all their care.

  • with all your heart


    with all your heart, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    “Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.”
    ~Buddha

    Photo is of a “Pure Perfume” rose unfolding in my garden. I have a whole cluster of these roses sitting in a vase in my kitchen windowsill and they give off such a gorgeous grapefruity aroma.

  • sounds like…

    Don’t you think “Warriorette” sounds awfully similar to “Marionette”?

  • the daily catch

    This was my garden basket this morning. See those awesome heirloom beans? They were so good (just finished dinner a few minutes ago). Had sauce with the Roma tomatoes that you can just barely spy underneath the beans.

    What did you pick from your garden today?

  • in a handbasket

    Not sure why, but there’s something really liberating about knowing that I’m now headed to hell (or in mormonspeak, “The Telestial Kingdom“).

    Now I can do all the sorcery and coffee-drinking that I want, with nary a worry about the consequences. Right?

    Besides…some of my favorite people have been fornicators, thieves, pot-smokers, liars, and/or presidential candidates (and sometimes all of the above).* And what would the afterlife be if I couldn’t hang with all those groovy people?

    *Note: I am resisting the urge to blog about the P-word. Resist. Resist. Resist, I say.

  • pilgrim classic: without a foot to stand on

    Originally posted 11/30/2006:

    Can I just say that I really dislike quotes like this one:
    “I complained because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.”

    Ahem, but what is that saying about men (and women) with no feet??? That they exist as morality lessons for all those shoeless joes out there? Or as objects of pity for all those folks whose closets are so full of shoes that they don’t have enough space to keep them in???

  • we have a winner!


    a winner!, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Stephanie S. won the Faded Paper Figures CD giveaway! Congratulations Stephanie!

    Please contact me at phddilly(at)yahoo(dot)com to arrange for delivery of your prize.

    We’ll have another giveaway soon. And if you have a new CD, book, or craft item that you’d like to offer for a future giveaway, drop me a line and we’ll arrange it.

    :)

  • Yatta!


    Yatta!, originally uploaded by mind on fire.

    We took the kids to the beach tonite. For one last sandy picnic before school begins.

    I was feeling a bit chilled and weary, so I let the kids do all of the exploring and getting wet while I enjoyed the serenity of the waves from my chair…

    Thanks for your good wishes for our anniversary, which we celebrated last night. We spent a quiet evening at home enjoying some garden pizza and John’s fabulous almond blancmange with basil coulis. The two of us then watched “Across the Universe” all snuggled up in bed together–singing along with the songs.

    Picture above taken by John just before a big wave came up behind the kids and soaked their backsides. Aren’t they adorable! :)

  • so sweet


    windowsill rosebud, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Went to Meeting this morning for the first time in many weeks. Felt so buoyed by the smiling faces of Friends. I had some important insights while I was there, but most of all I just let myself be happy that I felt well enough to attend again.

    John and I will celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary tomorrow even though the official date is Tuesday (we tied the knot on 9/2/92–isn’t that a great date and we didn’t even plan it to happen that way!). I guess the traditional gift for this anniversary is “silver holloware” (whatever). Not our style. We’re going to keep it simple and maybe watch a video, share some memories and go to sleep in each others’ arms.

    Me, I’m hoping that I get a pretty good backrub. That’s what I always want most anyways.

    Oh, and I’m baking a chocolate zucchini cake for dessert. Yum!

    :)

    What have been your favorite ways to mark your anniversaries? Perhaps nothing will top Boston for quite some time, but I am looking forward to the attempt to in the years that lie ahead….