Author: Jana

  • a little bit of bluegrass (for a warm fall evening)…

    a little bit of bluegrass (for a warm fall evening)…

    At the last minute our plans for yesterday evening changed, and we found ourselves wondering what to do after I got off work at 5.

    So we ambled down to The Bruery for a rainbow of seasonal beverages:

    And while remarking on what perfect weather it was for being outdoors, we debated various possibilities of things to do.  Live music seemed a good option, so we started searching for something nearby.  And then we found a publicity blurb for an event that hardly made sense: it was for bluegrass music by the Salty Suites in Black Star Canyon just 20 minutes away from Orange.  Ready for adventure, we set the GPS and started out…

    After some confusion on back roads with no addresses (or sign markers), we started hearing some music and headed towards the sound.  And found a group of people circled around some musicians, the area lit only by a few candle-lanterns.  (Even though there was a bright moon, it took about 30 minutes for me to realize that everyone in the crowd was wearing a costume except us).

    We found a spot to sit on the edge of some pavement and enjoyed the music for the next few hours.  It was lovely music in front of a large redrock formation that provided excellent acoustics even without mics.  Though every piece was outstanding, my favorite song of the evening was this one below (although Goodbye Ojai was gorgeous and Blood, Whiskey or Wine was a lot of fun)…

  • how to charm me…

    how to charm me…

    For years I had a print of a couple kissing in a train station hanging my bedroom.  It’s not the exact one above, but was very much like it.  I got the print while I was an undergraduate in college, and was probably dreaming a bit too much about passionate kissing and not enough about my studies…

    Over the years I’ve had a few good kisses.  Some that’ve even held a candle to the one in the photograph that hung on my wall for so many years.

    But of late, that’s definitely escalated.  There was that one in Times Square, and the one at Griffith Observatory, and the one at Sacre Coeur at sunset.  Not to mention Montreal, Portland, Cape Cod, Avignon, San Francisco, Brussels, Florence….and one very memorable smooch while I was sitting on the beach in Santa Monica.

    And then there’s that one coming up at an airport in just a few hours, where I intend to throw down my travel bags and kick up my heel just like the girl in the photo above…

    Previous “How to Charm Me” posts

  • 7 things I’ve learned from logging out of FB

    7 things I’ve learned from logging out of FB

    A few weeks ago, in a contemplative moment, I realized that I missed reading novels.  So I thought a bit about why I just didn’t seem to have time for novels anymore, and made a decision.  I would experiment with only logging on to FB whenever I had finished reading a novel–as a reward for finishing something important.

    It’s harder than it sounds to do this, mostly because so many of my web apps now integrate with using a FB login.  And if I’m logged out of FB then I’m logged out of them, too.

    So here you go, Seven Things I’ve Learned From Logging Out of Facebook:

    1) I need to reconstruct my logins for various web services (everything from goodreads to blogging) in order to access them while being logged out of FB.

    2) More than before, I’ve been noticing those ubiquitous FB “Like” buttons everywhere.  That my medical provider has one on their site is creepier than zombies.

    3) I like novels (better than I like FB).

    4) Logging out of FB during election season couldn’t have been better timing.

    5) I’m carrying on conversations outside of a for-profit proprietary software platform.  Even in real life sometimes.

    6)I can still post on FB through my twitter and instagram feeds.  So I don’t think anyone has even noticed my absence.

    7) When I’ve finished a novel I’ve found that haven’t had much interest in logging into FB anyways.  Instead, I’m grabbing the next book from my nightstand.

  • you get to decide….

    you get to decide….

    I’ve been working on a bucket list of things that I’d like to do.  It’s a crazy list, ranging from easy to impossible.  But it seems worth putting it all down in writing somewhere, to refer to when I get a hankering to pursue a new goal.  If you’re interested, take a look.

    So many of the things on this list I would have written off as impossible a few years ago–for example, I can remember when I was 28, telling a friend that I’d never ski again.  Because I was already too old.

    Perhaps the gift of turning 40 is the realization that it’s now or never…and simply not letting impossible enter into the equation.

    From the “Impossible Manifesto”

    Excitement comes from not quite knowing what’s coming next. When you travel the road that everyone else paves for you, it’s fairly easy to know what’s next, because they tell you.

    When you pave your own, you have no idea. No one has ever done what you’re about to do. You can have reference points from mentors but for the first time in your life, no one is telling you what’s up ahead.

    There’s bad news and good news:

    The bad news: Nobody can tell you what’s next.
    The good news: Nobody can tell you what’s next.

    You get to decide.

  • live a good story

    live a good story

    Recently I came across the Impossible Things blog through the story of the author’s coffeeshop interaction with Russell Kirsch.  I poked around the site a bit and was impressed with the author’s verve.  I’m the kind of person who likes big challenges, and doing “impossible things” seems a great approach to life.

    Perhaps what I found most provocative on his site, was this phrase:

    Live a good story. Then don’t be afraid to tell people about it.

    Because I’m struggling a bit with the telling of my life story these days.  Some days I’m just not interested in sharing–the initial adrenaline rush that came from being all wide-and-open on the internet simply isn’t there for me anymore.  Also, I’m feeling a need to resist the tidy narratives that are often created for my blogposts–the rosy-colored tint of my voice here feeling a bit too saccharine for the realities of my current day-to-day experience.

    But there’s some irony in my reticence to share, because quite simply, my life is more interesting and blog-worthy than it ever has been before.  This past year I’ve traveled to more cities than I can hardly recall, had dramatic romantic encounters that would rival anything on the big screen, have supported my kids through some of the most important transitions in their lives, and have welcomed more friends & food & flowers into my daily experience than I could have ever imagined.  All that, while learning being a breadwinner, finishing my doctoral degree, and being at the peak of physical health.

    The other day Catgirl stepped into my office and asked me if I was writing my life story yet.  She thinks I have some important stories to tell.  And perhaps that’s just the motivation that I need to get the job done.

     

  • Twitter Weekly Digest for @janaremy, 2012-10-12

  • sometimes…

    sometimes…

    Given that today is National Coming Out Day, it seemed time for this post that’s been brewing in my mind (and in my drafts folder) for awhile… 

    I’ve spoken a bit about dating and relationships on my blog over the past two years, but largely I’m keeping that part of my life private from my online presence.  The reasons for my doing so are various, but are mostly due to my desire to keep personal things personal (which feels right after having lived such a public life on this blog for several years).  And for the record I’m in a relationship right now, so this post is not intended as an advertisement for a dating partner.

    So what I want to say is simply this: since my marriage ended and I began dating again, sometimes I’ve dated men and sometimes I’ve dated women.

    Because, what I’ve learned about myself over the years is that I have attraction for many different types of people.  And I’ve also learned that it’s a delightful position to be in, at this middle stage of my life, to have the opportunity to pursue those varied attractions in new relationships.  Yes, there have been a few awkward moments in this process and I’ve experienced a few of the challenges that same-sex couples navigate, but for the most part I live in a community where this simply isn’t an issue.  And for that I’m grateful.  Because I think any of us should be able to follow the path of attraction and love, even when it’s not a typical one.

    For those brave people who have fought for GLBTIQ rights and freedoms–for those who have agitated and marched and exited closets only to find yourself homeless or unemployed or bullied, I owe you so much.  Thank you.  Thank you for making this world one in which I am free to pursue romance with whomever I want to, without the fear of consequences.

     

  • details…

    details…

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    This weekend I spent my time in the details.  There were drops of water on succulent plants, sun salutations to lengthen my spine, and lots of getting familiar with my new kitchen by baking and stewing and getting those last few boxes of cooking items unpacked.

    For so many reasons it was worth stepping away from the “big picture” for a few days to spend time with a macro view.

  • sunshine, on my shoulders

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    Two weeks ago we flew to Denver for the weekend, staying in a small writer’s cabin on the top of a hill near Estes Park. Driving there in the dark that first night we saw fields full of deer staring at us as we meandered around curving unpaved roadways. All night long we could hear the yapping of coyotes in the hills around the house.

    As is typical for me, I don’t sleep in well in the mornings. I’m up with the sun and looking forward to those first quiet moments over a cup of hot coffee.  The sun cast beautiful shadows across the landscape as it rose, and we had a large deck with a view to enjoy it all.

    IMG_3052My feelings about this part of the world are complicated, so much so that I feel like I’m in the middle of a vortex of memories each time I visit.  It was in Denver that I was diagnosed with bone cancer and had my leg amputated.  It was in Denver where my father wanted our family to settle (instead, we only lived there for three years).  And it was in Denver four years ago that my leg infection landed me once again in the emergency room.

    That trip four years ago kept surfacing in my mind as we drove around the environs of Denver.  In particular, I remembered an afternoon in my hotel room after I’d been several days alone there and was in terrible pain from my infection.  It was a dodgy Residence Inn–cheap enough for a traveling graduate student and smelling of curry and dirty socks.  The only sunlight that entered the room was a bright beam from a high window in the bathroom.  I remember sitting in that patch of light and singing “Sunshine on my Shoulders” to myself as a distraction from my circumstances.  I felt very alone that week, but I also realized how strong I was becoming and dealing with things that were beyond my control.  I had offers from friends and family to come and rescue me from Denver, but instead I dealt with the medical issues myself knowing that it was something I needed to do alone.  And as a result I returned from that experience knowing that I was far stronger than I’d been before, which was an important lesson for where my life was headed.

    So just a few weeks ago as I sat in the deck in that high dry Colorado air and enjoyed the sunshine on my shoulders once again, I felt that all the pain and trauma of that place was long gone. What remained were the lessons learned.  And the in-the-moment joy of warm breezes on bare skin, making me feel alive and strong and even a little teary-eyed at just how beautiful life can be.
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  • Twitter Weekly Digest for @janaremy, 2012-10-05

  • Gowalla

    Gowalla

    I really miss the Gowalla app.  I liked “checking in” as I moved around and I learned a lot about my local environment.  One of my favorite tidbits was learning about famous sculptures at UCI that I’d walked past for 20 years but didn’t know about their origin until I’d “checked in” there. It helped, too, that many of my DH friends were early Gowalla adopters and I enjoyed following along virtually with their travels.

    Instagram shares a few of the features that I enjoyed with Gowalla, but doesn’t offer the same incentives for check-ins, nor does it connect me to other users (or contacts) who are traveling the same paths as I am.

    Recently I downloaded Wenzani which seems to share some of the location-based functionality that I enjoyed with Gowalla, but it’s not really caught on in my area so I’m navigating the app alone (which means it’s no fun, really).  Wenzani strikes me more as an cleaner-looking yelp app than a game.  But I don’t like that Wenzani is pushing its updates to Facebook (I’m incredibly weary of FB right now, but that’s a topic for another day).

  • things I like…

    At my daughter’s suggestion, reading one of her favorite book series (the Protector of the Small trilogy, my entree into Tamora Pierce’s oeuvre).  And then talking about the characters and the feminist themes at the dinner table.

    It’s such a simple thing, but it’s been making me very happy lately to have my daughter share a bit of her literary world with me (that, and I love bouncing my writing ideas around with her–she’s one smart cookie!).