Author: Jana

  • autist

    My brother David posted this test for autism on his blog. I’m a 22, which means that I’m on the upper end of normal for a female. Curious.

    My results may have been skewed by the fact that I just finished reading a book with an autistic protagonist. Elizabeth Moon’s _The Speed of Dark_ is a fabulous tale about an adult autist who is faced with the choice of whether to take a treatment to cure his condition or remain as he is. I picked up the book because I like thinking about the way that disability affects personal identity. In my own situation, I know that my disability is not the core of who I am, yet it is such a big part of me that I can’t really imagine life without it. And I’m not sure I would want to. Though I would like to run, jump and frolic like a 2-legged person, I like that having just one leg makes me unique. And that this uniqueness is something that draws people to me. Would I really want to give this up?

    I suspect that with increasing advancements in medical technology, I may have to make this choice someday. While, at times, I crave being a bi-ped again, at other times I wonder if I’m too comfortable as I am.

  • to self

    Note to self: next time you make German Chocolate Cookies for the kids’ lunches, bag them up and put them into the freezer. Right away. Don’t leave them in a tantalizing pile on the counter. Otherwise they will call out to you the whole day as you’re trying to read Foucault.

    ‘Cuz everyone knows that Theory goes down much easier with copious amounts of chunky cookies w/pecans. Yep.
    :)

  • old flames

    Do you ever wonder what happened to your high school sweetheart?

    Today I met up with my boyfriend from my senior year of high school. We had an intense and somewhat stormy relationship–but isn’t that what high school romances are always like??

    We were both very different, yet perhaps too much the same. Strong-willed, passionate, idealistic, and very, very young. Also, he was a good Methodist boy and I was a Mormon bishop’s daughter. As such, it wasn’t a relationship destined for longevity.

    We met for lunch. I didn’t feel so self-conscious about my own grey hair when I saw the threads of silver in his beard. :)

    I guess we’re both getting old. But I guess that’s okay if getting old means that you can remember the past fondly–like a pleasant dream–and we can now move on and enjoy getting to know the ‘adults’ that we’ve each become…

    It was also a treat to meet his SO and to introduce him to John :)

  • garden variety porn

    This last week the mailbox was quite full of glossy mags w/enticing full-color pictures–it’s that time of year that all of the garden catalogs are sent out.

    I have mine piled in a basket in the bathroom. Pictures of juicy melons, heirloom variety tomatoes, and bright flowers tempt me each time I sit on the throne….

    A few years ago during garden catalog season I got together with some friends to peruse the mags. We were all comparing notes on different seed varities and were pooling our garden funds so we could each get a greater variety of seeds for less $$. My friend Yvette pointed to some of the glossy pages and said:

    “You know what this is, it’s porn for gardeners.”

    And she is so right. Those pics are airbrushed and doctored and every flaw is removed to be more enticing to those of us sitting through a bleak January, dreaming about being barefoot in the summer, running our hands through the warm soil, letting blackberry juice dribble down our chins and nibbling crisp raw corn straight off of the stalk. And then thinking about the tomatoes–the sun-warmed fruits that you can pick straight off the vine, brush off on your shirt and stuff the whole thing into your mouth…

    Yah….admit it. You were fantasizing there for a moment, too.
    :)

  • those two things

    There are two topics that I almost never mention on my blog. One is my life at school. The other is my life at church.

    Perhaps I don’t talk about these things much because they already take up so much of my life that I don’t need a venue to discuss them. Perhaps I don’t talk about them because I figure no one cares. Perhaps I don’t talk about them just because I don’t want to….

    I’m not even sure myself.

    But I’ll break my silence and briefly mention that UCI started again this week. And I’m actually looking forward to this quarter–the Fall was a tough 3 months and I got pretty burned out on the whole getting-a-PhD-project. I forgot that I’m supposed to be having fun :)

    But I’m back in the saddle now and looking forward to classes, teaching, and above all, research (writing this sitting in my little 5th floor office overlooking Aldrich Park with a stack of primary documents on my desk. There’s nothing like getting up early in the morning and cracking the spine on a hundred year-old book to get the endorphins flowing….).

  • revolution, part II


    So I did set a few New Year’s revolutions.

    The first one is that I will eat more fruits & veggies each day–at least 5 servings of different f&v, and most of them raw.

    Might sound like a funny resolution for a vegetarian, but it’s one that I need. I’ve gotten into a rut of eating a lot of processed foods–mostly starches or simple carbs–and I need the vitamins and fiber from the real thing.

    The second part of that resolution is that I need to eat more organic produce. It’s a bit beyond our budget to _buy_ all or even lots of organics. But I really should (and will) grow more myself, year-round.

    The odd thing about keeping this resolution so far this year is that I’m not cold anymore. I am almost _always_ cold–so cold that I carry a cardigan sweater with me and wear it most all the time. So cold that I can rarely go sockless, and anytime I read I have to have a blanket to cover me up. So cold that I can’t sleep at night w/o John next to me because he is my only source of heat.

    But the last few days I’ve been warm, even downright hot. At night I’ve been scooched way over to my side of the bed–not even touching John. I’ve been wearing shorts and short-sleeves. It’s a lovely feeling to be warm.

    Maybe it’s not a side-effect of the increased veggie consumption. But I feel like it is because that’s all that’s changed in my life/diet lately.
    :)

  • The Ring

    Had another long visit to the prosthetist today. Got a new socket and new skin. Cool.

    But the visit took 5 hours and I had the kids in tow so we brought a movie to watch on my laptop [yes, junebug*, you are amazing]. We watched the really long geek version of The Return of the King. And it took the _whole_ time. My finished leg was brought in for trying on just after Gollum fell to his doom. Great timing!

    But what’s hard about watching a movie like that on a Friday morning is that afterwards you have to return to Real Life. You get home from your appointment and there are emails to answer, dishes to wash, piles of paper that need sorting…

    But Frodo just altered the fate of the universe. And Gandalf is alive. And Sam is the coolest best friend ever. And life just can’t resume as if that didn’t just happen!!
    :)
    *FYI, junebug is my beloved Inspiron 700m

  • C doing what he does best….


    C doing what he does best….
    Originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Today I took C shoe shopping. We discovered two important things:
    1) We can no longer shop in the kids’ dept for C’s clothes. He’s a MAN now.
    2) Not only can he wear his new running shoes, but I can, too (though they are a bit tight on me).

    This growing up stuff is happening pretty fast!
    :)

  • E on violin (isn’t she beautiful!)


    E on violin
    Originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Just uploaded a bunch more family pics to flickr, including those of the Bouck family Christmas whistle pop concert….
    :)

  • Siddhartha Gautama
    Founder of Buddhism

    “All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?”
    Link: The Religion Founder You Resemble Test written by Stinkbot

  • we’ll dance in the garden in torn sheets, in the rain…

    Confession: I love rain. Some favorites….
    –opening the windows, letting the smell permeate the whole house.
    –listening from the inside with a fire and warm socks.
    –walking through Secret Garden w/o umbrella or hood.
    –a downpour in Cheltenham Spa after a scrumptious vegetarian meal. Annoying fancy hoteliers when us crazy Americans re-enter their flagship hotel dripping water onto the marble floors.
    –at night, in the dark, sitting on the porchstep in my PJs and watching the patterns of rain falling in the light from streetlamps.
    –visiting the Japanese Garden as it drizzles.
    –going up to the foothills in SLC, seeing the lighting dance across the valley floor.
    –funerals & cemetaries.
    –sending EllyCat into the downpour. Seeing how long it takes before she heads back inside.

    And on days when I don’t have any rain, I stand under the shower spray, close my eyes and just imagine that it’s raining for a few moments. It’s not a perfect substitute, but it satiates me till the next time the rain falls.

  • riding the rails


    Our family took our train trip to Northern Cali yesterday. Unlike what John B said, the train did not dump us out in the middle of nowhere or derail anywhere along the way. The view along the coast was absolutely stunning. I highly recommend it. I listened to Stephen Ambrose’s Nothing Like it in the World (about the development of the RRs in the West) as we rode along. The perfect accompaniment to a train trip!…