Author: Jana

  • it’s a new picture


    A new haircut and new glasses. Therefore, a new picture.
    Enjoy. :)
    [Note: the new haircut was quite a production. It involved two different salons and two different hairdressers, one wrong phone number, an injury with a sharp object that resulted in a temporary disability, a 100-mile roundtrip drive in heinous LA traffic, several fish tacos, and a trip to the lego store. Pretty sure that I won’t go to such great lengths for a new ‘do again…but considering that it’d been at least six months since my last cut, I suppose the herculean effort was warranted]

  • tomatoes


    tomatoes III
    Originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    Just added a handful of pics from my garden to flickr. Click on the photo above to view more. :)

  • real women

    My netflix tonight was “Real Women Have Curves.” It’s taken me way too long to watch this film. And, of course, the best scene is the one in the factory where the women are competing for the most curves, the most ‘cellulite.’

    It reminds me of this now-popular blog that features photos of the bodies of real mothers. Though my stretch marks have almost completely faded in the last 10 years, I can still feel their striations as I run my hands over my lower belly. They are scars to be proud of, the physical sacrifice for my two babies that’s been well-worth every mark they left on my flesh.

    [Note: but I’m still not brave enough to share any photos of my current belly (my least favorite part of my body). And, unfortunately, I have no such photos from my pregnancies, either–I think Demi Moore hadn’t yet broken the belly barrier back when I was pregnant]

  • ’tis a gift to be simple…

    This past month I’ve been praying, meditating, and studying about simplicity. My primary text has been Plain Living: A Quaker Path to Simplicity, though I have also used other texts about Simplicity, and have augmented my study with the Queries from my local Quaker Meeting (they are also focusing on the value of Simplicity this month).

    For those who are interested, here are the queries [Note: ‘queries’ are questions that can guide your meditation and silent worship]:

    “Life is meant to be lived from a Center, a divine Center—a life of unhurried peace and power. It is simple. It is serene. It takes no time, but it occupies all our time.” Thomas R Kelly, Testament of Devotion (1941, p.124)

    “Simplicity, beauty, and happiness go together if they are a by-product of a concern for something more important than ourselves.” Elise Boulding, My Part in the Quaker Adventure

    A life centered in God will be directed toward keeping communication with God open and unencumbered. Simplicity is best achieved through a right ordering of priorities: maintaining humility of spirit, avoiding self-indulgence, resisting the accumulation of unnecessary possessions, and avoiding over-busy lives.

    Advice and Queries for all individuals:
    Do I center my life in an awareness of God’s presence so that all things take their rightful place?
    Do I live simply, and promote the right sharing of the world’s bounty?
    Do I keep my life uncluttered with things and activities, avoiding commitments beyond my strength and light?
    How do I maintain simplicity, moderation, and honesty in my speech, my manner of living, and my daily work?
    Do I recognize when I have enough?

  • The more you have, the more you’re occupied;
    the less you have, the more free you are.
    ~Mother Teresa

    Check out my & John’s latest podcast where we discuss marriage, simplicity, spirituality, and the choices that have brought us closer together over the years.

  • do I need a nose ring?

    Yesterday John and I attended E’s art show–the display of her summer art workshop. As we were thoroughly enjoying all of the projects that she showed us, her teacher came by to introduce herself. She zeroed in on me first, and asked if I was E’s mother. John, who had been standing next to me but was facing away from the teacher, turned around, reached out his hand, and identified himself as E’s father.

    The art teacher sort of recoiled for a moment, then replied.

    “No, you’re not…you really couldn’t be her father?”

    Then the art teacher looked back at me again and sized the two of us up from head to toe.

    “Are you sure?”

    John was sort of baffled by her insistence that he couldn’t possibly be E’s father. This, despite the fact that E resembles John so much that there can’t possibly be any mystery about her parentage.

    When we talked about it later he expressed his annoyance at the teacher. I told him he needs to come up with a snappy rejoinder for such situations (this happens quite often). Me, I need to come up with a comeback, too. I’m starting to get pegged as John’s *Mom*, and I don’t quite know how to deal with it. John suggested that a few strategically-placed body piercings would make me look young enough to belong to him. Unfortunately, I hated getting my ears pierced and can’t really fathom a ring through my nose or brow. Ditto for tattoes (ouch).

    So, dear readers, help me here. What can I do?

  • because I’d rather be in bed

    Many of you have probably already heard the tale of our freecycle bed. It’s a queen sized Ethan Allen, cherry wood, four poster canopy bed. It’s a bed for people have who live in 2-story, 5 bedroom homes with a double garage. It’s not really the type of bed that ‘fits’ in our 750 sq ft apartment (yep, you read that sq footage number correctly, there are no missing digits there). Yet, it’s an extravagance that I’ve justified because of the joy that it brings.

    Our bed is the safest place in the world to me. It’s so high that I have to vault into it (yah, the travails of one-legged leaping into a ridiculously tall Victorian style bed). But when I’m nestled it, with its canopy of pale peach silk (gifted in a bag of misc fabric remnants from friend Carole), the world is shut out and I am in my perfectly safe space, like a cocoon. Hanging from the canopy edge is a string of multicolored lanterns, whose soft glow is just bright enough to read by, but just dim enough to soothe (or snooze, as often happens).

    It seems apt that John and I have taken to recording our podcasts while in bed. There’s nothing kinky about it–it’s the most sheltered space in the house. The sounds of our voices don’t reverberate around in the bed–they are muffled by the draperies and the wall along the backside. Last night when we recorded our latest ‘cast, I reclined on my belly, foot in the air, totally relaxed in my coziest PJs as I told the story of our changing marriage relationship.

    When I am tired or discouraged, I retreat to this bed, where I can nap or lie and dream for awhile. John and I have our best conversations in this bed. Where nothing else can distract and we are completely focused on each other. Our bed, this space, is both haven and heaven.

  • swimtime



    As I mentioned earlier, much of my time this last month has been spent at the pool. The kids have two hours of swim practice daily, and then have 6 hour swim meets each Saturday morning.

    The swimming, though time consuming, has been a delightful family activity. I join the kids in their daily practices (I am quite proud of the fact that I can still outswim the kiddoes, but I suspect this has more to do with my longer body than with my inherent speed). The Saturday meets, though they can be tedious–especially this last meet where we endured 100+ degree heat and all felt quite sick afterwards–are also great fun. I’ve included a few photos for you to see our family whiling away the time between races….

  • go long for Jesus

    I think this vid is pretty funny. I can remember my brother John telling me all the crazy ways he and his missionary companions attempted to get their message across. Maybe they tried a few of these? (Perhaps the funniest part of this video is that it’s obvious that the actors aren’t LDS, but yet are familiar enough with the elders’ door approach that they can lampoon it oh-so-well)

  • John…in a skirt


    IMG_6365
    Originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

    At ComiCon, John tried on a “utilikilt” and took this picture just because he knew I would enjoy it.

    Ooolaalaa. Look at those fine legs….

    Mission accomplished :)

  • why I blog

    I’m preparing to speak about Mormon feminist blogging in a few weeks. So as I’ve been mulling over various thoughts, I thought I’d make a list of the top 10 reasons why I blog….

    1)For reflection. Each time I sit at my computer to write a post, I reflect on my life and cull the gems that I feel are worth sharing. This affords the opportunity to recall joy, blessings, frustrations. I like these moments of examination, they offer great insight.
    2)For FUN. Often, blogging is play for me. I take an experience and try to render it in text. I experiment with phrasing, punctuation and pauses. I attempt to express humor and pathos.
    3)To tell it like it is. I like having the uninterrupted space to tell my stories. No one us cutting me off mid-sentence or censoring my words. It’s probably the narcissist in me that enjoys the blog as both soapbox and pedestal.
    4)To speak the unspeakable. On my blog I’ve often discussed my disability. This is a fairly taboo subject in mainstream culture. It’s empowering to me to tell the stories of my different body without framing them in terms of an inspirational or pity-full narrative. Yet, ironically, it is the parts of my life that are the most visible (my religious practice, my academic pursuits) that I discuss least often. I’m not yet sure why that is. (more on this in #10)
    5)To share pictures. I’ve just started really enjoying photography. I know our camera sucks and my photos are amateur-ish, but they bring me great joy. I love sharing my ‘lens’ with you.
    6)For community. Several of you, dear readers, know me only through my blog. Others of you are old familiar friends who like to continue to keep in touch through cyberspace. I cherish my virtual neighborhood. Your blogs and emails nourish me, your thoughts buoy me, and your comments affirm, challenge, provoke and validate my musings.
    7)For memory. What joy it is to scroll through my blog history and remember the fun things I’ve done!
    8)Because I’m a geek. Hmmmm….yes, I spend a good chunk of my day sitting at my laptop writing emails and composing blogposts. ‘nuff said.
    9)To mimic John. I’m not really the jealous type, but I saw all the benefits that he’s gotten from blogging through the years, and I wanted in on it, too!
    10)To be vulnerable. Though the personal essays and other opportunities I’ve had to share the intimate parts of my life over the past 10 years, I have often been afraid. I’ve been afraid to tell the truth as I see it, I’ve been afraid of offending, I’ve even been afraid of ‘discipline.’* But there is something so empowering about laying out truth bare. My truth-telling brings me closer to others, creates bonds with strangers, allows an intimacy that is both frightening and exhilarating.

    *I suspect that the reason I feel reticent to discuss school and church are because of fear of backlash. Within academia there’s a pretty high barrier to becoming personal and vulnerable. The LDS church has a history is censuring its more outspoken members, especially feminist women. So far, no one in the Mormon ‘Bloggernacle’ has been disciplined by church authorities for what they’ve written on their blogs, yet I am still wary. I love the freedom of the LDS community on the Net. I don’t want to see that change.

  • published!


    Tomorrow A Voice in the Wilderness will be released. I’m not expecting this book to hit the top of the charts at amazon.com (our print run will actually be quite small), but it is still quite thrilling to have my interview with Terry Tempest Williams published in this anthology. :)