–Eating lunch in the department with a colleague. a vigorous discussion about the various Indian Removal Acts, the Trail of Tears, and how long and hard one needs to study to pass the French language exam.
–Feeling confident in my knowledge that the War of 1812 was with the British. And they burned our White House. But we won.
–A cup of tea with John in his office at midday.
–The trees at UCI, because they are blooming and dropping petals into John’s dark locks.
–Carrot cake w/cream cheese frosting and chopped walnuts on top.
–A lovely Valentine’s Day evening. Full of gifts from my beloved.
–Counting down to the imminent holiday weekend. knowing that we will celebrate the Pres’ birthdays in style.
:)
Author: Jana
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make me smile…
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dancin’
Looking forward to some “Dance Dance Revolution” action at Aunt Suz’s house this weekend. She recommended the following vid to me as inspiration. Yah.
I think I’ll probably be the one on the couch watching everyone else sweatin’…
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a little bit early :)
I got my Valentine’s gift a bit early this year. I won’t tell you exactly what it is, but the picture here is a big hint. [Note: John has not yet delivered the half-naked Japanese man part of the present. I’m especially looking forward to that part]
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dazzly dreams
From jengray:
Whatever it is you try to do with your life,
Nothing will ever dazzle you like the dreams of your body…
~Mary OliverWhat are your body’s dreams? And do they dazzle?
[Me, today my body is dreaming about waterfalls…]
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A Poem: Seeing Stones
“Every man who lived on the earth,” Joseph said to them, “was entitled to a seer stone, and should have one, but they are kept from them in consequence of their wickedness, and most of those who do find one make evil use of it.” (Brigham Young’s journal, as quoted in Latter-day Millennial Star, 26:118,119)
It was the nights when Dad would have kidney stones that he would call me in
To sit at his bedside to pray.
I was the family healer, set apart in my partriarchal blessing when I was twelve
To have the power to be healed and to heal others on their behalfI would sit and hold Dad’s hand and ask God
and he would breathe deep and say
Thanks Jan, the pain, it’s better nowBut how when it got so bad and the doctors didn’t know why because the stones, they couldn’t see them
I fasted and prayed my healing prayer
And the answer
A time to die
And then the MRI, it showed cancer. Pancreatic. Uncurable.***
Dad’s college buddy, Dave, he called today.
I’d run in to him at Sunstone, recognized him from the funeral
Asked him for stories about Dad
Dave said Dad was curious about seer stones. That a girl brought her family’s stone to their Institute class.
Dave put it in his black felt hat and they had tried to see.I asked Dave about Dad’s testimony. Did he always believe?
He told me of Dad’s mission to the Western States. Dad was dark and could pass for native
Went to a kiva ceremony and had a manifestation–a Navajo blanket the veil, drawn back and the heavens opened.
That after that he wondered but never wavered.I am angry now that I didn’t know this Dad.
He never told me the dream stories that Dave tells now.
Premonitions, knowing, seeing.***
When I was young Dad stopped at all of the rock shops along the summer route to Utah. I liked the rose crystals, bright pyrite, peacock ores.
Dad looked, too, but I don’t know what caught his eye.Dave says the seer stones give a psychological closeness to the Spirit, remove earthly barriers
I see myself, a rock-gatherer
They roll on the floor of my car, mark the bagua of my home, circle the herbs in my garden.
I see myself, a healerWithout
the power to be healed
Pondering my Father’s stones
Lacking vision~Jana, 6/2005
In a revelation from god, Joseph Smith reveals how those who attain glory in the afterlife will receive a seer stone of their own: Then the white stone mentioned in Revelation 2:17, will become a Urim and Thummim to each individual who receives one, whereby things pertaining to a higher order of kingdoms will be made known. And a white stone is given to each of those who come into the celestial kingdom, whereon is a new name written, which no man knoweth save he that receiveth it. The new name is the key word. (Doctrine and Covenants 130:10-11)
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seeking: radical mormon feminists
I’m looking for a handful of radical Mormon feminists to work on a project with me. If you’re interested, reply in the comments section of this post or drop me a line at phddilly atyahoo dot com.
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if this is you…
If today you spent the morning on the phone on hold, trying to get through to your insurance company, working on loopholes that might allow you to bill for the “non-allowable” repair of your microprocessor knee, then you spent 3 hours talking feminist theory and history with your colleagues, and afterwards you picked up the kids and then dropped them off at a lecture with John, then you headed to the Science Library to read French medical texts and a too-long book about Buffalo Bill, well if this is you and you find yourself ravenous at 5:30 pm because you realize that the nutella and jam sandwich that you ate at lunch was just too long ago, you should drop by the Veggie Cafe for a quick appetizer before you go grocery shopping at Trader Joes. And when you are at TJs, don’t forget to get a bar of super-dark chocolate because that’s what you’ll be craving later tonight.
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they’re back :)
just to let you know….my random taglines are back (you can refresh a few times to see them change). Yeah!
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feminism 101, Part II
You can find Part I here.
From “The Combahee River Collective“, with my changes in italics to make this more relevant to Mormon women:
We reject pedestals, queenhood, and walking ten paces behind. To be recognized as human, levelly human, is enough.
We believe that sexual politics under patriarchy is as pervasive in Mormon women’s lives as are the politics of class and religion. We also often find it difficult to separate religion from class and sex oppression because in our lives they are most often experienced simultaneously. We know that there is such a thing as religio-sexual oppression which is neither solely religious nor solely sexual, e.g. the history of polygamy and continued practice of insititutional polygyny by Mormon men….
In the practice of our politics we do not believe that the end always justifies the means. Many reactionary and destructive acts have been done in the name of achieving “correct” political goals. As feminists we do not want to mess over people in the name of politics. We believe in collective process and a nonhierarchical distribution of power with our own group and in our vision of a revolutionary society…we know that we have a very definite revolutionary task to perform and we are ready for the lifetime of work and struggle before us.
Okay, so this is a ‘proclamation’ that I could stand behind. What about you?
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vintage
John and I in the doorway to my Hobbiton dorm room, circa Winter 1990.
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meeting john
Every good love story starts with an interesting meeting. A smile from across a crowded room, a blind date, etc. My relationship with John began in the office of a Mormon bishop.
It was the summer before my freshman year in college. Mom and I had traveled to a 3-day orientation weekend for me to get better acquainted with UCI. I’d had a miserable time at the orientation. It was all rah-rah college and team-building activities. At the time I was having some problems with my hip and every step was painful. UCI’s sprawling hilly campus was daunting, a real turn-off. By the end of the weekend I was quite convinced that I would attend a junior college and live at my parent’s house. The UC experience was way too intimidating.
Before we left town Mom suggested that we drop by the local Mormon chapel. It was Sunday afternoon and we knew that church was already over, but she thought we might just drop by and see the building, maybe see if my bishop was around. So we did. Which brought me to the closed door of a bishop’s office. Not sure what to do, I timidly knocked. “It’s open” said a male voice from inside. So I swung open the door and saw the Bishop sitting at his desk speaking with a young man sitting across from him. From where I was standing I couldn’t see the young man’s face, only the back of his head. I told the Bishop why I was knocking on his door (I was an incoming UCI freshman) and he told me that he’d be done with his interview in a moment and suggested that we could meet afterwards.
Long story short…that image of the back of John’s head was burned on my mind and inspired me to actually follow-thru with my plan to attend UCI. I met John within days of starting college. But we weren’t really close friends until I was hospitalized for a mystery illness around Thanksgiving time. John showed up at my bedside with some LDS friends to give me a healing blessing. He also witnessed a botched attempt at an IV that spewed enough blood from my wrist to soak my sheets. I suspect that his kindness towards me in that first phase of our relationship had much to do with the drama of those first moments that we spent together while I was in the hospital. And when I was released a few days later John stayed with me in my empty dorm to make sure that I was okay (most folks, including my roommate, had already headed home for T-Day). He also washed my hair for me–a much needed service after my stay in the hospital [Note: I couldn’t wash my own hair because of the botched IV and other open sores on my hands]. Oh, and can I tell you what a thrill it was for me to have this dark & handsome near-stranger wash my hair?? Whoa! Definitely the stuff of romance novels (the ‘clean’ kind, of course, as he did the washing in the bathroom sink)
So…a view of the back of John’s head, some blood-sodden sheets, and clean hair. An auspicious beginning for a relationship? I think so :)
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veggie-tarian
I felt that a reply to Elise’s recent comment warranted a whole post. She asked:
Would you be willing to share a little more about your own vegetarian lifestyle? Are you 100% strict on not eating any animal products, or do you eat a little bit of meat here and there?
My reply:
I’m not a strict vegetarian right now. I occasionally eat meat or meat-based products (e.g. chicken broth) on conditions of necessity or hospitality. For example, if a friend cooks me dinner and doesn’t know of my vegetarianism, then I will often taste some of their meat-based food (though I rarely eat much of meaty stuff and I generally refuse beef altogether).Having said that, I must confess that I do occasionally eat seafood. I cook salmon about twice/month (wild caught Alaskan or Canadian) because it is a family favorite. I also indulge in sushi a few times per year.
I try, with some success thanks to Trader Joes, to source our dairy products from organic farms. I feel that organic dairy tastes better and is a better choice than traditional dairy practices. I wish I had the time and energy to give up animal products altogether. I did for a few months and my body felt wonderful. But it was an awful lot of work and I think my kids would be unhappy if I encouraged them to eat that way all the time.
Elise and others, I heartily recommend Francis Lappe’s Diet for a Small Planet
if you want to learn more about the environmental costs of meat production. This book is a bit old, but still a good read on the topic and you can generally find used copies of it for just a few dollars.
