Ok, here’s a bit of a pet peeve coming…
What John told me after he said he was leaving me, was something like this:
“But you’re still attractive. I’m sure you can find someone else.”
Since then several people have said a similar variant of the same thing to me. I know it’s well-intentioned. It’s a kind of hopeful twist on the awfulness of being left behind. But it still really feels awful to hear (and, quite frankly, the last thing I want in my life right now is “someone else” to be attached to).
Have any of the rest of you been told this by a spouse or a lover who’s leaving, or by friends who were trying to cheer you up after you’ve been ditched? If so, how did it make you feel? And are there any other things that people have said to you in the divorce process that have particularly grated on your nerves?
UPDATE: One more thought: I wonder if anyone says the “you’re still attractive” line to men? Or is that a gendered thing that’s only said to women? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…