John’s story is one of the sweetest gifts ever from my beloved. It begins something like this:
“Once Upon a Time there was this handsome prince who asked me out on a date”
And I think you can guess how it ends….
1) Any product that has extra x’s or z’s in the title, as in exxxtra pleasure, sizzzlin’ hot, XXXL, etc
2) Milk chocolate (du-uh)
3) Apparel with faux fur trim, feathers, or red sequins
4) A Hallmark card
5) Items that have a life expectancy of less than three days (such as goldfish, cut flowers, or bacon)
Since it’s almost V-Day, I’ve got romance on the brain…
Last year around this time, my friends helped me to create a list of criteria for a future partner. It was a fun exercise to see what they hoped for me, to add a few of my own desires, and to comment when I think they missed the mark.
Based on my dating experiences since then, I’ve added a few things to my list:
One thing that was a surprise to me this past year, was the realization that dating inside of the ivory tower isn’t a necessity–because for a long time I only imagined myself with another professor-type. Since then I’ve learned that I spend so much time with other academics, it’s actually quite refreshing to get outside of that bubble. But…on the flip side, I’ve found that some of the non-academic people that I’ve dated don’t like hanging out with intellectuals, or are intimidated by a group of friends who all have advanced degrees. So I’d have to say that anyone I date that’s from outside that world, needs to also appreciate that my social circle tends to revolve around the university, and not find that too daunting.
This dating stuff has been quite a wild ride. I’ve found some people who were “right” in all of my categories but for whom I had zero romantic attraction. And then there were those who were so different from me that I didn’t even know what we find to talk about, but who made me so weak in the knees that I didn’t care much at all about the conversation. And of course, I have found those that I was attracted to both mind and body (and what a delight).
I never expected to go through dating or courtship again after I settled on marrying John, so this has been totally unexpected phase of life…but also one that’s both more exciting and more satisfying than I could have ever imagined.
While I’m still not thrilled that my ex left me, I am glad that I get to choose a new partner now. Especially being so much wiser and more practical than I was at age 18 when what was paramount in my future husband was that he was a faithful Mormon.
Previous Valentine’s Day posts
This month John and I will celebrate 19 years since we met and fell in love. Most days I feel like I am a character in the very best John Hughes movie ever.
PS: To all my new readers who have left recent comments–I’m enjoying your thoughts, insights, and experiences. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post(s)–it means a great deal to me. I wish I had the energy right now to respond to you each of you individually. Give me some time to heal and I will look forward to visiting your blogs and getting to know you better soon. :)
A reprint from 2/14/2006
Note to self: next time John gets you your favorite super-sour gummies for Valentine’s Day Eve, squeal when he presents them to you. :)
However, do not proceed to eat said gummies while wearing a low-cut top and reading scholarly journal articles because sour gummy powder will then accumulate in your, um, cleavage while you are concentrating on the arguments of the very stimulating writings of 19th-century historians.
And then you’ll wake up in the middle of the night w/ cleavage sore and burning from said powder and you’ll have to teach the next day while trying to ignore that you want very much to scratch that particularly irritated area….
–Eating lunch in the department with a colleague. a vigorous discussion about the various Indian Removal Acts, the Trail of Tears, and how long and hard one needs to study to pass the French language exam.
–Feeling confident in my knowledge that the War of 1812 was with the British. And they burned our White House. But we won.
–A cup of tea with John in his office at midday.
–The trees at UCI, because they are blooming and dropping petals into John’s dark locks.
–Carrot cake w/cream cheese frosting and chopped walnuts on top.
–A lovely Valentine’s Day evening. Full of gifts from my beloved.
–Counting down to the imminent holiday weekend. knowing that we will celebrate the Pres’ birthdays in style.
:)
I got my Valentine’s gift a bit early this year. I won’t tell you exactly what it is, but the picture here is a big hint. [Note: John has not yet delivered the half-naked Japanese man part of the present. I’m especially looking forward to that part]
1) My kids having enough homework to keep them busy until bedtime. Every weekday.
2) Eating the last of my valentine’s gummies.
3) Copy machines that are so smart that they decide how they’ll make your copies. Despite what you tell them about how you want to make your copies.
4) 7th week. ’nuff said.
5) Only junk mail today.
6) A sink full of dishes
7) Cat vomit. That E walked through on her way to the kitchen.
Note to self: next time John gets you your favorite super-sour gummies for Valentine’s Day Eve, squeal when he presents them to you. :)
However, do not proceed to eat said gummies while wearing a low-cut top and reading scholarly journal articles because sour gummy powder will then accumulate in your, um, cleavage while you are concentrating on the arguments of the very stimulating writings of 19th-century historians.
And then you’ll wake up in the middle of the night w/ cleavage sore and burning from said powder and you’ll have to teach the next day while trying to ignore that you want very much to scratch that particularly irritated area….