I’ve listened to some pretty spectacular and melancholy break-up songs these past few weeks. Most don’t entirely reflect my experience, but have some nuggets of emotion that resonate with the various stages of feelings that have accompanied my divorce.
For example, this one is excellent for those moments that I’m screaming at the universe (and my ex) (and, oh, that hair. I want that hair!).
And this one works for those moments when I’m feeling overwhelmed with a path that wasn’t of my choosing:
And certainly Piaf is apt when I consider whether I could have done something different along the way, or could have better protected myself from the pain that came from investing myself so fully in my marriage.
I’m not really in break-up mode any longer so these songs bring back specific memories of those first few days rather than reflecting the place where I’m at right now (which is, generally, one where I’m listening to less angry/sad music). But given how significant some of these songs were in my process, they seemed worth sharing here…
What about you, what songs have you listened to during a break-up?
6 comments
Definitely this New Order song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftJZomwDhxQ played loud, and with much screaming of lyrics. Also, this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dElcbE2HEdQ. And then, course, there’s this classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I
I’m the one who left my husband, although my husband will admit that he was deeply unhappy. Looking back I can see how much he controlled me, I’m sure the very same thoughts have crossed his mind as well. Mostly, I think I just scared him.
But my favorite song, “I Will Survive”, very, very loud.
Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” is part of my soundtrack for all life’s mishaps; I picture myself as that boxer in the ring, bloodied but still remaining (maybe not the most Quakerly image, but there you go).
“Boulder to Birmingham”: Actually this one was in my soundtrack for the sudden death of the guy who was my last boy friend before Joel, but it could have done just as well for those moments in a break up where I’d be missing the person who’s gone.
And this is my favorite ever angry song about an ex, though it’s way too recent to be one of my own “soundtrack of a breakup” songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7MuwPlOiNQ
It seems our situation is similar. Maybe not in the symptoms or details, but similar nonetheless.
It’s funny how I have fallen back on songs from my younger days. Back when I was angry at the world and full of angst. From my head-banger days I have Crowbar and Life Of Agony. Just about any song will do. They work nicely for getting the anger out.
And I, too, have found quite a bit of comfort in Waiting For The End.
David Dondero- Rubber Tree Cane http://new.music.yahoo.com/david-dondero/tracks/rubber-tree-cane–176348463
although you can never go wrong with New Order.