Jana Remy
  • Writing
    • Disability
    • Making History
    • Digital Humanities
      • dayofDH
    • Canoeing
    • Creative Nonfiction & Essays
    • Feminism
    • Bibliographies
      • Pacific Worlds Bibliography
    • Social Media
      • Mentions/Links
  • Scholarship
    • Awards/Fellowships
    • Conferences & Invited Talks
    • Collaboration
    • Workshops
    • Conference Planning
    • Technical Skills
  • Teaching
    • Blogposts About Teaching

Jana Remy

  • Writing
    • Disability
    • Making History
    • Digital Humanities
      • dayofDH
    • Canoeing
    • Creative Nonfiction & Essays
    • Feminism
    • Bibliographies
      • Pacific Worlds Bibliography
    • Social Media
      • Mentions/Links
  • Scholarship
    • Awards/Fellowships
    • Conferences & Invited Talks
    • Collaboration
    • Workshops
    • Conference Planning
    • Technical Skills
  • Teaching
    • Blogposts About Teaching
deep thoughtsfamily

so fallible

written by Jana November 3, 2010

I keep writing and re-writing what I want to say in this post, and it still isn’t coming out right.  But here’s an attempt…

Although I’ve been “very productive” in my life these past few years–working towards my PhD, advancing my career, pursuing my hobbies passionately, supporting my family, etc.  Many things still fall through the cracks….

For most of my life I wrote letters to my extended family members weekly, and dutifully visited them.  For the past five years, I have only intermittently remembered their birthdays and other gifty-holidays.  I rarely call.  Thank you notes are mostly unwritten.  When my great-aunt died a few days ago, I was completely shamed by how lax I’ve been in supporting her the past couple of years.

I feel truly awful about this, and the more I realize how terrible I feel, the more it compounding all of the other ways in which I fail everyday.  Whether its missing a deadline, or blurting out something asinine in an academic conversation, or forgetting to follow-up with a friend…I mess up constantly.  Constantly.

Some days I just wish I weren’t so fallible, so busy, so careless, so self-absorbed, so tired, so focused, so weak.

Share this:

  • Share
  • Email
  • Pinterest
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Print
4 comments
0
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Jana

previous post
the piano
next post
My favorites!

More Posts Like This One

camp stories

2012 Retrospective #1 (finances)

quirky but lovable…

bright

what about you and me

so many roses

this is how it works…

resolved

creativity

all dressed up…

4 comments

marta November 3, 2010 - 3:28 am

sweetheart, get off that slide. it goes nowhere good. you are exhausted and cannot let yourself beat yourself up. you come as close as anyone i know to being superwoman, but you gotta let yourself be human and fallible.

Reply
melissa November 3, 2010 - 3:42 am

Jana, DO NOT beat yourself up! Life happens, and beating yourself up won’t fix anything, won’t stop things from falling through the cracks, and won’t change what’s already happened. Being fallible is part and parcel of being human. You are one of the most giving, forgiving, and insanely productive women I know…it’s okay to not be perfect!

And just think, I like you anyway! :-) *hug*

Reply
Corktree November 3, 2010 - 11:44 pm

This is how I feel as a mother lately.

From what little I know of you Jana (and I look forward to meeting you someday), I think even in your failings you are doing better than many of us. Not to belittle your struggles, but I think sometimes in comparing ourselves to what we know we’re capable of we always come up short. I do at least.

Reply
deb November 4, 2010 - 7:16 pm

So human.

Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About Me

About Me

Hi there friend, and welcome to my blog. I started writing on the internet two decades ago. Since then I've started and finished a PhD program, left the Mormon church and became a Quaker, got divorced, remarried, found full-time work in academia, took up rock climbing and outrigger canoeing, and traveled across the globe (China! Belgium! Italy! Chicago! Montana! Portland! Gettysburg! and oh-so-many points in-between). This blog is eclectic and random--it has poetry and cooking and books. And cats. And flowers. And the ocean (my ocean). But in that sense it's a good reflection of me and my wide-ranging, far-reaching, magpie curiosity.

Snapshots of My Life

No images found!
Try some other hashtag or username

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog.

Popular

  • 1

    A Room of My Own

    December 4, 2017
  • 2

    the post-post divorce Christmas celebration

    November 28, 2017
  • 3

    open

    December 21, 2017
  • 4

    Reader, I married him

    March 22, 2017
  • Ellycat

    January 2, 2019

Categories

Archives

Popular Posts

  • 1

    A Room of My Own

    December 4, 2017
  • 2

    the post-post divorce Christmas celebration

    November 28, 2017
  • 3

    open

    December 21, 2017

Calendar

November 2010
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930  
« Oct   Dec »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Flickr

@2017 - PenciDesign. All Right Reserved. Designed and Developed by PenciDesign


Back To Top
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.