For the past few days I’ve been struggling….
–to balance home demands with personal needs/goals
–to get my garden under control
–to not be dismayed by a horrible allergic reaction to some antibiotics that’s left me looking sort of like I have the chicken pox
–to keep up the pace with my research
–to affirm my loved ones
–to get caught up
–to remember what it is I am supposed to be doing
–to fulfill obligations to friends and community
So I started off today with a beautiful moment of meditation. I sat with a candle (a wee orange candle from a lovely shop that I happened upon in Denver). I felt so good during and after the meditation, so ready to take on the day, so sure of myself, etc.
So I got up and proceeded to clean the kitchen–I knew that cleaning would clear my head and give me a fresh start. As I was washing dishes I slipped–in some water that had splashed on the floor– and as I reached out to the counter to keep myself from falling, the side of my hand hit the silverware holder in the dish drainer and one of my forks stabbed deeply into the side of my hand. And it started bleeding pretty badly.
For someone who not-so-long-ago got a puncture wound on her leg in a similar manner (and who is still working with various doctors to solve the ongoing mystery of that particular infection), I was just plain scared and so deflated. I grabbed a towel to put some pressure on it to stop the bleeding and just curled up in the couch and felt so so tired of it all.
I don’t even know why I’m blogging this. My life is so good in so many ways–tonite, for example, I watched GameBoy be showered with numerous awards from his teachers and applauded loudly as he played his cello along with the school orchestra. Yesterday I baked the first blackberry crumble of the season and I can rightfully say that it is the tastiest crop yet! There are so many other wonderful and good things happening for me right now.
So why am I struggling?