A few mornings ago my alarm woke me just as I was about to have a conversation with my Dad in a dream. This is a rarity–to see him–and I was angry and sad when the buzzing popped the bubble that was my special moment with my Father.
The night before, I had been reading a small pamphlet sent to me by Friend Obasan. It detailed several daily meditations on a variety of Christian principles: Joy, Power, Peace, Light, etc, with appropriate scriptures from the Bible. I was charmed by the gift of the pamphlet: hand-bound with pale peach embroidery thread. Yet, I wasn’t sure of the contents. I’d left my struggles with Jesus behind over a year ago. Needing space from all things Christian for awhile.
But in that dream–that same dream when Dad was appearing to me–another image was very strong. It was a rock wall with a small crack spreading down its face. And from that crack was shining a very bright light. As I meditated on that image during Meeting on Sunday, I came to believe that that rock was my heart. And the crack was God. God’s love and joy and healing power. From pondering that image I felt that there was a change ahead for me. Not a big change like turning Quaker after being Mormon for most of my life. But a change in my understanding. And where God fits in to the puzzle of who I am.
Not trying to be all new-agey on you, but just re-telling this moment because it seems important and lovely. And you have shared so many such moments with me along this journey…So here is another step on the path we walk together. :)